It's rare that you find me sitting down to blog after only 2 complete days in a month-long challenge. I'm usually still figuring out what I think about it and don't like to write until I'm sure of the direction the post will take, but this one is different. Even though I do still have some settling in to do, wrinkles to iron out, and ways to improve throughout the month, I already know what I hope to gain from this month's challenge... the 7 Sacred Pauses.
We all have lives that are so, so incredibly busy! I really can not for the life of me think of one person who doesn't keep their schedule full who is physically capable of it. You should have seen our calendar for last month. It really was a thing to behold! All summer long we wanted to take a vacation (I call it 'running away') and couldn't find the time. Adding a coming baby into the mix has me wanting a time away alone with DH even more and we've finally carved out 3 days we can manage to escape for the remainder of this year. Now to find a nice, quiet, secluded place within a single day's drive to hunker down in and ignore real life for awhile...
These pauses are intended to but a halt to all the hustle and bustle, 7 times a day. 7 times a day when my alarm goes off it reminds to stop, take a deep breath, get away from whatever job I was engaged in, and get back in touch with God. 7 times a day they interrupt the rhythm I have going and give me a chance to get in rhythm with what God is wanting to do with me instead. Sometimes it works... when I enter the moment with the right attitude of humility. Sometimes I blow it and fill the square. That's where I hope to see improvement throughout the month.
With only two days of this under my belt I've been amazed by two things.
1) It's incredible how quickly I can lose my poise after a good worship and prayer journaling session... literally the work of a couple of hours.
2) It's disturbing to realize how little I truly 'thought' of God's presence before now... Knew He was there, subconsciously, yes. But stopped to acknowledge Him and put forth the effort to commune with Him? No.
So on with this month of pausing in the hectic days, walking out on meetings with people to meet with God, setting aside physical labor to take on the labor of prayer, and growing in my love for meeting with God on a personal and moment-by-moment basis! I have everything to gain by this exercise and nothing but stress, fatigue, and irritability to lose.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Saturday, September 6, 2014
The Dismal Failure of Month 6
Friends... I've been very, very naughty with this month's challenge.
It wraps up today for me, as I was two weeks behind the Council due to some travels. So while they've been done with it, I've been plugging along, keeping track of my failures. Not even kidding, that's how this challenge has gone and I wasn't even expecting it to be that bad!
The goal was to cut my spending down to only 7 places for 4 weeks. For me those places were Sprouts, Aldi's, Atwoods, Bill Pay, Medical, the Sinclair on Highway 9, and my milk & egg lady. Everything I 'needed' would be in those 7 places, right?
Wrong.
I'm sitting tight at more than double that. And some of them have been repeat offenses. I'm horrible!
I will say that being on some type of restriction has actually stopped me from a couple of purchases. I had no idea how hard this one was going to be, honestly. I can put off any purchases for 4 weeks, surely. But really now... sales only last for few days! And end-of-season sales only last as long as the stock does. So those cute swimsuits that were 80% off? Yeah... they're long gone. *sigh*
This month has done a lot to open my eyes to how much '7' has not changed me. Part of it is seasonal and or situational... as summer wraps up and fall comes into sight I get an itch to update my wardrobe. Hello, Jessica? Do we need to revisit the 'Clothes Challenge'? Several of the occasions of spending in undesignated locations can be blamed on the little guy growing inside right now. I just couldn't make it home without a snack! Seriously... I've been contemplating revisiting the food month as soon as this crazy hectic fair season wraps up.
But at the center of those instances I noticed the greed within my own heart. I'm still accustomed to having what I want and sometimes calling those things needs. I'm still influenced by the advertisement campaigns that work so hard to tell me what my life is supposed to look like, what I am supposed to look like, and what sounds good to eat. I'm still struggling against this innate nature of consuming and collecting called materialism.
As I wrap up this month and move into the final challenge I'm going to have to carefully consider how to make this an ongoing thing. One month of one year of my life isn't going to cut it, and I need to not give up this fight thinking it will.
It wraps up today for me, as I was two weeks behind the Council due to some travels. So while they've been done with it, I've been plugging along, keeping track of my failures. Not even kidding, that's how this challenge has gone and I wasn't even expecting it to be that bad!
The goal was to cut my spending down to only 7 places for 4 weeks. For me those places were Sprouts, Aldi's, Atwoods, Bill Pay, Medical, the Sinclair on Highway 9, and my milk & egg lady. Everything I 'needed' would be in those 7 places, right?
Wrong.
I'm sitting tight at more than double that. And some of them have been repeat offenses. I'm horrible!
I will say that being on some type of restriction has actually stopped me from a couple of purchases. I had no idea how hard this one was going to be, honestly. I can put off any purchases for 4 weeks, surely. But really now... sales only last for few days! And end-of-season sales only last as long as the stock does. So those cute swimsuits that were 80% off? Yeah... they're long gone. *sigh*
This month has done a lot to open my eyes to how much '7' has not changed me. Part of it is seasonal and or situational... as summer wraps up and fall comes into sight I get an itch to update my wardrobe. Hello, Jessica? Do we need to revisit the 'Clothes Challenge'? Several of the occasions of spending in undesignated locations can be blamed on the little guy growing inside right now. I just couldn't make it home without a snack! Seriously... I've been contemplating revisiting the food month as soon as this crazy hectic fair season wraps up.
But at the center of those instances I noticed the greed within my own heart. I'm still accustomed to having what I want and sometimes calling those things needs. I'm still influenced by the advertisement campaigns that work so hard to tell me what my life is supposed to look like, what I am supposed to look like, and what sounds good to eat. I'm still struggling against this innate nature of consuming and collecting called materialism.
As I wrap up this month and move into the final challenge I'm going to have to carefully consider how to make this an ongoing thing. One month of one year of my life isn't going to cut it, and I need to not give up this fight thinking it will.
Friday, July 11, 2014
I'm Back! Well... Sort of
Is it indicative of the effectiveness of the media fast that
it’s taken me 3 weeks to post about it?
In a word… yes.
If you are someone who watches my page or eagerly awaits my next
status update, you’ve probably noticed that even though I’m ‘back’ I’m really
not all that ‘back’. Going into it, I was certain that 28 days wasn’t going to
be enough to break any old habits or start anything new but I was wrong. It
hasn’t been a conscious decision to refrain from posting in most cases. I
simply haven’t cared to take the time! Now, one thing that has crept back in is
fb browsing… you know, that meaningless activity of scrolling through endless
‘news’ updates from ‘friends’. Gonna have to do something about that again.
But I’ve had a couple people ask me to share how the fast
challenged me, so I’ve sat down to organize my thoughts and condense them into
a manageable post. So here come the bullet points and choppy sentences! Again,
I learned a lot about myself during this month and some of it wasn’t very
pretty…
- - I used social media to bolster my self-esteem.
Some time I need to write an entire series on self-esteem…
I’m convinced it’s an over-used and misunderstood concept that flies in the
face of biblical truth. However, for the sake of this post just understand it
in the way it’s always understood. Facebook audiences can be incredibly easy to
predict and even manipulate… If I wish to feel pretty I just need to pull out a
new picture (probably an old one, since I don’t get new ones very often) and
change my profile shot. Since it’s considered good friendship and practice to
encourage one another about our looks I can practically guarantee that I’ll get
several dozen ‘likes’ and even a couple of ‘comments’ to make me feel ‘pretty’.
The same can be said for quippy one-liners to make me feel ‘funny’ or deep
philosophical thoughts to make me feel ‘wise’.
- - I depended on music to ‘set the mood’.
You know how hard it is to clean a house to complete
silence? I’m sure I used to do it all the time but it must have been long ago. Now my normal routine is to choose my station according to what I
‘need’ in the moment… hip-hop if I’m unmotivated, praise if I’m either cheery
or facing temptation, instrumental when I just want something in the
background… Music influenced my emotions and thus influenced my results.
Without it I had to control those things on my own, with nothing but God’s power
to help me. (Yes, that was meant sarcastically!)
- - I didn’t really ‘miss’ browsing… but was
utterly bored without it.
Have you ever realized that you spend an exorbitant amount
of time doing something that has little to no value but you have little to no idea
how to spend it better? That was me during this fast. Deleting my social apps
off my phone left me with nothing to do in the car, in my down time, or while I
waited for the water to boil. In all honesty, I didn’t find a good alternative
in those weeks. I just came to the conclusion that I need a hobby… Still
working on that one.
-
- I missed sharing snippets of my life with
friends…
…But I often found myself sharing those moments with God,
literally talking to Him about the things that were happening in ways I might
have talked to my so-not-present ‘friends’. I’m not saying that it’s bad to
share life moments with friends and family… If it was really funny or important
I would call up my husband, sister, mom, or friend and tell them!... but it’s also not
bad to keep it to yourself. I’m under no obligation to put my life out there
for all to see. That’s something I had forgotten when it seems like all the
world is sharing everything on the Internet. There’s still something to be said
for privacy, believe it or not.
- Being 'In-the-Know' isn't necessarily a virtue
In this age of information, being non-informed is almost looked down upon as a sin. It like not knowing what's going on in the world is synonymous with apathy... the big no-no of today's Christian talking points. But is that really true? I went through 4 weeks of not having a clue what has happening in Israel, Washington D.C., or anywhere else unless I was personally told by another human being. Was I being apathetic about the problems around me during that time? I've though about those questions some and have come to these conclusions.
"Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered." Proverbs 21:13
"So the, whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is a sin." James 4:17
It would seem that there are two major faults to be avoided... One is intentionally neglecting the knowledge of another person's (country's, people group's, etc...) need. The other is knowing about those needs and not responding to them. So as we fill our heads with the news of the day and feel good for being an 'informed citizen' we'd better stop and ask ourselves something. Is our knowledge puffing us up and getting in the way of our action? Perhaps we would be wise to focus on the news that will spur us into action instead of becoming paralyzed by the amount of need in the world and doing nothing.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Well... I'll See You All Later!
Television, E-mail, Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest, texting, the radio, iTunes, movies, Snapchat, blogs, news, advertisements, forums...
Guys, it's media month. And it starts tomorrow.
I am so dragging my feet on this one. I have this attitude of "This is going to S.T.I.N.K." and I need to stop it. My focus needs to shift from how much I'm going to miss social media and onto how much more I'll be able to learn new things, really talk with people, and hear from God. There is going to be an amazing, growing, freeing side of this month. For the first few weeks it will likely be overshadowed by the void created by eliminating some of the biggest distractions I dabble in on a moment-by-moment basis. Who knows... it might even take an extension of this month's challenge to see some real, lasting fruit. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. :)
For now, I'm going to spend this afternoon saying good-bye to my 'friends' on Facebook (of whom I really only see a minute percentage...), delete apps (because if they're there I WILL click into them before I realize what I'm doing...), and listen to all the music I can stand. And I'm describing what this month will look like so you know what it's about and I can come back and remind myself what it's about.
My parents were always fairly strict when it came to media usage. I remember being limited to 30 minutes of screen time of any kind on a daily basis and some periods of only using electronics on the weekends. It fluctuated sometimes, but in general we didn't use it a lot. I didn't have a Facebook profile until I was eighteen and until then my computer time was generally used to write stories for my own enjoyment. With all that in consideration I step back and see how much I have been ensnared in the small space of 5 years.
I check Facebook multiple times a day... not out of duty but out of boredom. I Snapchat almost daily and Instagram as much, sometimes for the same reason but sometimes out of a need to share my world with people across the country. The television is on every day for several hours, sometimes being actively watched and sometimes just creating background noise. If I don't know something, Google is a ready and available resource without which it seems I can no longer live. How in the world did I find the nearest Sonic without you, smart phone and 3G?!
The results of this constant stimulation is described in the corresponding chapter in "7". It literally changes the way our minds work; we're restless, can't focus, and jump at the chance to change our trajectory when our phone dings with a notification. Besides this negative affect I see hints of another issue... the need for approval and affirmation from people I don't even really know. How am I going to make it an entire month with out a single 'like', 'share', or 'comment'? Where will I get my confidence when I can't even 'post' that witty one-liner I came up with all on my own? My already innate struggle with fear of man is fed by my ability to foster cheers from 744 people on an online profile whose knowledge of me, my personality, and my beliefs is 90% or more based only on what I post. More on both of those, I'm sure, in future posts.
But this month the status quo will be challenged. I am eliminating or severely minimizing 7 forms of media.
- Television
This will be entirely eliminated when I'm home alone, and avoided when Josh is home with me. He may still watch in the evenings, but unless I'm intentionally spending time with him in front of it I will spend that time either in another room working on something, reading, or outside.
- Internet
No browsing news pages, blogs, or recipe sights. I have newspapers, books, and cookbooks to keep me informed, enlightened, and fed well. I can access the internet to use my maps app when I'm out and about and as we continue to research adoption I will need to use it to learn what I need to learn.
-Social Media
All of it. Period. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest, Snapchat... Every app will be deleted tonight. The only posts my friends will see will be from external sources, either my Bible app or from this blog. And I will have no idea what they think of those posts.
- Radio
Really, that should read 'Music', because it's all going. No Pandora, no Air1, no iTunes. I will be driving in silence, exercising in silence, and cleaning in silence.
- Texting
All chit-chat texts will be eliminated... this is a business only month. If I want to chat I can call.
- Email
This is necessary at this time of year... I'm coordinating a campaign project and need to contact several people at once. But I'm checking it only once a day instead of every few hours. Nothing communicated by email is that important.
- Gaming
At first this seems like a non-issue. Yes, I have a few games on my phone but it's literally been months since I last opened them. BUT... with Facebook going bye-bye I see the potential for games to become a fall back. So they're banned before they get started.
So pretty much going cold turkey here... It will be interesting to see how I change. Pray for me. :)
Guys, it's media month. And it starts tomorrow.
I am so dragging my feet on this one. I have this attitude of "This is going to S.T.I.N.K." and I need to stop it. My focus needs to shift from how much I'm going to miss social media and onto how much more I'll be able to learn new things, really talk with people, and hear from God. There is going to be an amazing, growing, freeing side of this month. For the first few weeks it will likely be overshadowed by the void created by eliminating some of the biggest distractions I dabble in on a moment-by-moment basis. Who knows... it might even take an extension of this month's challenge to see some real, lasting fruit. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. :)
For now, I'm going to spend this afternoon saying good-bye to my 'friends' on Facebook (of whom I really only see a minute percentage...), delete apps (because if they're there I WILL click into them before I realize what I'm doing...), and listen to all the music I can stand. And I'm describing what this month will look like so you know what it's about and I can come back and remind myself what it's about.
My parents were always fairly strict when it came to media usage. I remember being limited to 30 minutes of screen time of any kind on a daily basis and some periods of only using electronics on the weekends. It fluctuated sometimes, but in general we didn't use it a lot. I didn't have a Facebook profile until I was eighteen and until then my computer time was generally used to write stories for my own enjoyment. With all that in consideration I step back and see how much I have been ensnared in the small space of 5 years.
I check Facebook multiple times a day... not out of duty but out of boredom. I Snapchat almost daily and Instagram as much, sometimes for the same reason but sometimes out of a need to share my world with people across the country. The television is on every day for several hours, sometimes being actively watched and sometimes just creating background noise. If I don't know something, Google is a ready and available resource without which it seems I can no longer live. How in the world did I find the nearest Sonic without you, smart phone and 3G?!
The results of this constant stimulation is described in the corresponding chapter in "7". It literally changes the way our minds work; we're restless, can't focus, and jump at the chance to change our trajectory when our phone dings with a notification. Besides this negative affect I see hints of another issue... the need for approval and affirmation from people I don't even really know. How am I going to make it an entire month with out a single 'like', 'share', or 'comment'? Where will I get my confidence when I can't even 'post' that witty one-liner I came up with all on my own? My already innate struggle with fear of man is fed by my ability to foster cheers from 744 people on an online profile whose knowledge of me, my personality, and my beliefs is 90% or more based only on what I post. More on both of those, I'm sure, in future posts.
But this month the status quo will be challenged. I am eliminating or severely minimizing 7 forms of media.
- Television
This will be entirely eliminated when I'm home alone, and avoided when Josh is home with me. He may still watch in the evenings, but unless I'm intentionally spending time with him in front of it I will spend that time either in another room working on something, reading, or outside.
- Internet
No browsing news pages, blogs, or recipe sights. I have newspapers, books, and cookbooks to keep me informed, enlightened, and fed well. I can access the internet to use my maps app when I'm out and about and as we continue to research adoption I will need to use it to learn what I need to learn.
-Social Media
All of it. Period. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest, Snapchat... Every app will be deleted tonight. The only posts my friends will see will be from external sources, either my Bible app or from this blog. And I will have no idea what they think of those posts.
- Radio
Really, that should read 'Music', because it's all going. No Pandora, no Air1, no iTunes. I will be driving in silence, exercising in silence, and cleaning in silence.
- Texting
All chit-chat texts will be eliminated... this is a business only month. If I want to chat I can call.
This is necessary at this time of year... I'm coordinating a campaign project and need to contact several people at once. But I'm checking it only once a day instead of every few hours. Nothing communicated by email is that important.
- Gaming
At first this seems like a non-issue. Yes, I have a few games on my phone but it's literally been months since I last opened them. BUT... with Facebook going bye-bye I see the potential for games to become a fall back. So they're banned before they get started.
So pretty much going cold turkey here... It will be interesting to see how I change. Pray for me. :)
Friday, May 2, 2014
Opportunities Abound
As this month comes to an end (and I continue to purge my household...because I have to confess that I was so incredibly busy these past two weeks that I failed to complete the expected tally marks on my sheet of paper sitting by my pile of stuff!), the overwhelming lesson in it for me has been this.
There are opportunities out there.
I wrote last time about the Hope House shelter in Shawnee, OK where up to 12 kids at a time are placed when there are no foster care homes available for them. It is my hope to be able to write next time about our Council outing to one of a couple of locations in Oklahoma City helping with the homeless or inner city ministry. And this past Monday, Amy and I got to catch a glimpse into the heart of another ministry in Shawnee, Project:Safe.
My friends inspire me... I spent all morning and part of the afternoon at Amy's house working on formatting a cookbook. She's been collecting recipes and typing them out for I-don't-know-how-long so it can get printed and bound and given to the clients of our church's food pantry by the one year anniversary of the storms that changed our community forever. She'll poo-poo this post and say that it was nothing, but I know better. So this is your shout-out, Amy ;) I can't wait to see it on paper! My part of the project was to collect some of the stories that demonstrated God's incredible provision for the work He was doing in the storm's aftermath; talk about a humbling and invigorating experience! Our God is ALIVE, my friends! If anyone would like me to send along those stories just let me know! It will build your faith.
After a late lunch, we headed toward town to visit this Project:Safe we had heard about. Honestly, we had tried to kill two birds with one stone and run by it when we were in town visiting Hope House but we had been unable to find it. But a few days later I had happened upon it as I drove through town, saw the sign, and did a 'U' to go back and see what their hours were. Now we were back, and the young woman who came out to help us unload gave us some wonderful insight into the mission and the heart behind the work being done there.
Project:Safe is a battered women's shelter that seeks to provide everything a woman might need when she flees from an abusive situation. They have beds for 15, some in a family room setup and some grouped for singles to use. They feed them all and have someone there at the shelter 24/7 to be available for emotional support, help with children, or whatever else might be needed by the women. Obviously, it's in a confidential location... where Amy and I visited was the office and what they hope will help to fund the operation - a thrift store. The things we brought that day went straight into the inventory of the shop, which is currently only being opened on an occasional weekend due to it's newness, lack of volunteer help, and disorganization. Right now it's like a giant garage sale, but they hope to get it set up and operating on a regular store hours basis. When they do, they hope to be able to run it solely on volunteer power... just like they do everything else. Funding is never a sure-thing; most of it comes in the form of grants that are never guaranteed to be renewed, so having support in a self-sustaining form would be a weight off their minds. When we asked what we might be able to do to help them there were two responses.
The first was volunteering, of course, especially for when the store was up and running regularly. But even before then there is the opportunity to take part in getting the store to that place. And there are other things that, she said, the volunteer coordinator could tell us more about.
The second was donations. Big ticket items are always the first things to go when the store is open, things like furniture, bedding, and small appliances. Money, of course, is always helpful. But the thing that I wasn't expecting to hear was food. "Maybe do a food drive," she suggested. "That would be a big help." Cooking for fifteen women at a time can take a lot, she said. And she pointed out that many of the women they are helping were coming out of living conditions where they may or may not have been allowed food, or had been belittled or abused for eating. The freedom to eat could make them eat like it was the last time they had the chance. Sometimes you don't really know what people need until you ask. There's a little sub-lesson within the bigger one... Just ask what people need!
These community outreaches, plus the church's, plus the two we're tossing around working together on this next month just goes to show... opportunities are out there. I have to admit that when I was reading this chapter from Jen's perspective I was a tad underwhelmed. She lives in Austin, for crying out loud! Of course she has abundant outlets for service and donations! And where am I? Tribby, Oklahoma... And yet two of our discovered ministries are located in Shawnee, which is the nearest 'real' town to me. The city isn't far and my own church has a food pantry.
The truth of the matter is, there's work out there to do and places to do it if you're really interested. But it's not likely to come and stand right in front of you waiving bright flags in your face to get your attention. I never would have noticed Project:Safe's sign if I hadn't just spent 20 minutes wondering through downtown Shawnee looking for it! If you're busy complaining that there's not a good place to volunteer or get involved... may I make a suggestion?
It's time to stop complaining and start searching.
Because opportunities abound!
There are opportunities out there.
I wrote last time about the Hope House shelter in Shawnee, OK where up to 12 kids at a time are placed when there are no foster care homes available for them. It is my hope to be able to write next time about our Council outing to one of a couple of locations in Oklahoma City helping with the homeless or inner city ministry. And this past Monday, Amy and I got to catch a glimpse into the heart of another ministry in Shawnee, Project:Safe.
My friends inspire me... I spent all morning and part of the afternoon at Amy's house working on formatting a cookbook. She's been collecting recipes and typing them out for I-don't-know-how-long so it can get printed and bound and given to the clients of our church's food pantry by the one year anniversary of the storms that changed our community forever. She'll poo-poo this post and say that it was nothing, but I know better. So this is your shout-out, Amy ;) I can't wait to see it on paper! My part of the project was to collect some of the stories that demonstrated God's incredible provision for the work He was doing in the storm's aftermath; talk about a humbling and invigorating experience! Our God is ALIVE, my friends! If anyone would like me to send along those stories just let me know! It will build your faith.
After a late lunch, we headed toward town to visit this Project:Safe we had heard about. Honestly, we had tried to kill two birds with one stone and run by it when we were in town visiting Hope House but we had been unable to find it. But a few days later I had happened upon it as I drove through town, saw the sign, and did a 'U' to go back and see what their hours were. Now we were back, and the young woman who came out to help us unload gave us some wonderful insight into the mission and the heart behind the work being done there.
Project:Safe is a battered women's shelter that seeks to provide everything a woman might need when she flees from an abusive situation. They have beds for 15, some in a family room setup and some grouped for singles to use. They feed them all and have someone there at the shelter 24/7 to be available for emotional support, help with children, or whatever else might be needed by the women. Obviously, it's in a confidential location... where Amy and I visited was the office and what they hope will help to fund the operation - a thrift store. The things we brought that day went straight into the inventory of the shop, which is currently only being opened on an occasional weekend due to it's newness, lack of volunteer help, and disorganization. Right now it's like a giant garage sale, but they hope to get it set up and operating on a regular store hours basis. When they do, they hope to be able to run it solely on volunteer power... just like they do everything else. Funding is never a sure-thing; most of it comes in the form of grants that are never guaranteed to be renewed, so having support in a self-sustaining form would be a weight off their minds. When we asked what we might be able to do to help them there were two responses.
The first was volunteering, of course, especially for when the store was up and running regularly. But even before then there is the opportunity to take part in getting the store to that place. And there are other things that, she said, the volunteer coordinator could tell us more about.
The second was donations. Big ticket items are always the first things to go when the store is open, things like furniture, bedding, and small appliances. Money, of course, is always helpful. But the thing that I wasn't expecting to hear was food. "Maybe do a food drive," she suggested. "That would be a big help." Cooking for fifteen women at a time can take a lot, she said. And she pointed out that many of the women they are helping were coming out of living conditions where they may or may not have been allowed food, or had been belittled or abused for eating. The freedom to eat could make them eat like it was the last time they had the chance. Sometimes you don't really know what people need until you ask. There's a little sub-lesson within the bigger one... Just ask what people need!
These community outreaches, plus the church's, plus the two we're tossing around working together on this next month just goes to show... opportunities are out there. I have to admit that when I was reading this chapter from Jen's perspective I was a tad underwhelmed. She lives in Austin, for crying out loud! Of course she has abundant outlets for service and donations! And where am I? Tribby, Oklahoma... And yet two of our discovered ministries are located in Shawnee, which is the nearest 'real' town to me. The city isn't far and my own church has a food pantry.
The truth of the matter is, there's work out there to do and places to do it if you're really interested. But it's not likely to come and stand right in front of you waiving bright flags in your face to get your attention. I never would have noticed Project:Safe's sign if I hadn't just spent 20 minutes wondering through downtown Shawnee looking for it! If you're busy complaining that there's not a good place to volunteer or get involved... may I make a suggestion?
It's time to stop complaining and start searching.
Because opportunities abound!
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Messy Side of Giving
I think I've learned something else about myself in these past two challenges that is just now registering.
I don't like writing until I have a cohesive thought with a logical conclusion on which to end.
Unfortunately, I haven't been having a lot of those recently. My thought process has been quite jumbled, and since I don't really think anyone would find it interesting to hear what I 'did' today versus what I 'thought' I end up just not writing. It's not fun to sit down and try to convey your convictions to the world when you've had little more than general convictions that have led to specific questions the answers to which you have yet to discover.
That's how I've felt lately... everything I do, every purchase I make, every plan I set in stone is suspect to my own conscience. One difficulty lies in feeling like it's a good thing to care for what I've been given (i.e. spending money at Lowe's to buy tools for upkeep and improvement) but knowing that many others are slapping mud on their walls to fill cracks. Another one is found in wanting to please and 'bless' people I love with things that involve monetary spending (i.e. buying birthday presents or spending money on doing fun things together) but mentally recognizing how much could be done with that same amount if given to a third-world family. It's probably a good thing, but I'm not necessarily liking it yet... And 'yet' is likely an unnecessary word, since I doubt that conviction is every a comfortable experience. I automatically go to the word 'balance' to give myself a goal... but at the same time I'm struggling with the idea that balance might not be a biblical principal.
So I have no answers! :) I'm still wrestling with all of this, and these first couple of weeks in Month 3 have felt like nothing more than Spring Cleaning up to this point. That is, however, about to change. In fact, the change has already started. This morning Amy and I, along with two of her girls, rode into town together (thank you, truck, for deciding not to start for me...) to drop some donations at the Hope House in Shawnee. Unfortunately, we didn't get to take a tour at the time. But the director who received our items was able to tell us a little about it and what the needs were.
The Hope House is a residential setting shelter for children in the foster care system waiting for foster homes to open up a place for them. There is a sever shortage of foster care homes in comparison to the amount of kids in the foster care needing a place to stay. So all of those kids that need a home but don't have one get to go stay in a residential center with about 10 other kids for possibly months at a time before being placed, or re-placed, in a foster or adoptive home.
In all honesty, 'stuff' was not really what they needed. Oh, there were some items that we had that he accepted. But he was glad that we had actually asked him to reject what they wouldn't use so he didn't have to sort it all and find another place to pass things too! No, what they really hurt for is people. They need personnel to work at the center while not expecting to make buckets of money (shortfalls in the state budget leads to budget cuts for them which leads to pay cuts for workers). They need people to sign up for foster care so fewer kids have to live in these homes. The need people to adopt so kids can have a forever home.
We have several other places we intend to visit this week and the entire Council is trying to find a time to join my sister's co-worker on his weekly visits to a downtown OKC bridge. It's this part of the month that I am most excited about... there is nothing emotionally moving about cleaning out my crowded cabinets and getting rid of my piles of excess. But I am anticipating a time of new growth as I get out of my comfort zone in these new places and learn about other needs... exploring the messy side of giving where you actually meet a need face-to-face, outside the walls of a clean, tidy church or organization, in the middle of another person's reality.
I don't like writing until I have a cohesive thought with a logical conclusion on which to end.
Unfortunately, I haven't been having a lot of those recently. My thought process has been quite jumbled, and since I don't really think anyone would find it interesting to hear what I 'did' today versus what I 'thought' I end up just not writing. It's not fun to sit down and try to convey your convictions to the world when you've had little more than general convictions that have led to specific questions the answers to which you have yet to discover.
That's how I've felt lately... everything I do, every purchase I make, every plan I set in stone is suspect to my own conscience. One difficulty lies in feeling like it's a good thing to care for what I've been given (i.e. spending money at Lowe's to buy tools for upkeep and improvement) but knowing that many others are slapping mud on their walls to fill cracks. Another one is found in wanting to please and 'bless' people I love with things that involve monetary spending (i.e. buying birthday presents or spending money on doing fun things together) but mentally recognizing how much could be done with that same amount if given to a third-world family. It's probably a good thing, but I'm not necessarily liking it yet... And 'yet' is likely an unnecessary word, since I doubt that conviction is every a comfortable experience. I automatically go to the word 'balance' to give myself a goal... but at the same time I'm struggling with the idea that balance might not be a biblical principal.
So I have no answers! :) I'm still wrestling with all of this, and these first couple of weeks in Month 3 have felt like nothing more than Spring Cleaning up to this point. That is, however, about to change. In fact, the change has already started. This morning Amy and I, along with two of her girls, rode into town together (thank you, truck, for deciding not to start for me...) to drop some donations at the Hope House in Shawnee. Unfortunately, we didn't get to take a tour at the time. But the director who received our items was able to tell us a little about it and what the needs were.
The Hope House is a residential setting shelter for children in the foster care system waiting for foster homes to open up a place for them. There is a sever shortage of foster care homes in comparison to the amount of kids in the foster care needing a place to stay. So all of those kids that need a home but don't have one get to go stay in a residential center with about 10 other kids for possibly months at a time before being placed, or re-placed, in a foster or adoptive home.
In all honesty, 'stuff' was not really what they needed. Oh, there were some items that we had that he accepted. But he was glad that we had actually asked him to reject what they wouldn't use so he didn't have to sort it all and find another place to pass things too! No, what they really hurt for is people. They need personnel to work at the center while not expecting to make buckets of money (shortfalls in the state budget leads to budget cuts for them which leads to pay cuts for workers). They need people to sign up for foster care so fewer kids have to live in these homes. The need people to adopt so kids can have a forever home.
We have several other places we intend to visit this week and the entire Council is trying to find a time to join my sister's co-worker on his weekly visits to a downtown OKC bridge. It's this part of the month that I am most excited about... there is nothing emotionally moving about cleaning out my crowded cabinets and getting rid of my piles of excess. But I am anticipating a time of new growth as I get out of my comfort zone in these new places and learn about other needs... exploring the messy side of giving where you actually meet a need face-to-face, outside the walls of a clean, tidy church or organization, in the middle of another person's reality.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Month 3: Possessions
I just realized how poorly I kept up with posting during Month 2... and I was so on top of it in Month 1! Really though, as expected, the clothes challenge wasn't nearly as big of a deal as the food was. Apparently I care more about what I eat than what I wear. Still trying to decide if that's a good thing or not... I DID, however, notice that by the end of the month, while I was still enjoying the simplicity involved in knowing exactly what I was going to wear before going to bed each night, I was also starting to feel a little frumpy. After a month of wear mystery stains were starting to pop up on my shirt and my shoes were getting dirtier and dirtier. It didn't exactly get to my self-esteem, per say, it just had me ready for the month to end.
Yesterday was the first day of wardrobe freedom and my clothes count skyrocketed. I woke up and got into my old favorite pair of jeans (I didn't choose those because they're not fit for public wear... stains of many colors and a non-fashion-inspired hole testify to the love I have for those jeans). Slipped into a new shirt, (yes... I did the unthinkable and actually got new clothes DURING this clothes challenge... but in my defense I spent literally next to nothing on them. Thank you for that mailer, JCPenny, I absolutely love $10 off $10 or more coupons!) and back into my favorite pair of shoes. After getting home from running some errands I changed into running shorts, a tank top, and tennis shoes. Then after a run and the temperature starting to drop I switched back into jeans and changed my shoes out for boots. I told you at the beginning that this is normal for me! ;)
But all that is behind me and the daily purge of this month's challenge is before me. The title of this post was probably pretty indicative of what the focus is for the next 4 weeks.
Stuff.
We all know we have too much of it. Some of us have storage containers rented out to hold the things we can't find a place for in our homes. Others of us have out buildings of our own to store the extra in. Most of us have at least several cabinets and closets full to overflowing. Every once in awhile we will all stand in the middle of a messy house and wonder where in the world it all came from. And then, (at least if you're me) we will go hit another garage sale, just because we can or we may miss out on a great deal for something we don't really need.
This month's challenge is two-fold for me. The first is getting rid of 7 items every day for an entire month. I expect the first two weeks to be pure bliss... I really do love to get rid of stuff I don't use or really like. Just ask my dad... I don't hang on to things. Much to his chagrin, if it doesn't get used or contribute in some way to my happiness then it either goes in the trash or the Goodwill pile. Yes, even if it was, at one time, given me by a family member. Hey, what they don't know won't hurt them, right? About the only things I've held on to for sentimental reasons are correspondences and accomplishments. Letters I keep and certificates I keep. Both are small and easy to stash away. I just don't connect people or memories to inanimate objects. *shrug* So with that in mind, I'm sure I will love minimizing the stuff I've accumulated over the years and getting rid of the piles that have slowly formed.
The last two weeks, however, could get tough. Because I don't keep things, I'm expecting to run out of things that I actually WANT to get rid of before I reach the end of this month. Which leads to getting rid of things I want to keep. Which will be a sacrifice. Which is kind of what this whole season of my life is about. Which I'm still not sure I'm going to like.
Anyways...
Since the point of this isn't just to Christianize a normal spring cleaning, we're supposed to abstain from simply dumping our rejects at the back door of the local thrift store where people like me go looking for a good deal. This is where the challenge and the beauty meet... We are challenged to actually find people who need these things we have to give and bless them, face-to-face. Passing it off to friends isn't acceptable. As Jen puts it, we need to stop focusing on blessing the blessed. Why give our stuff to people who already have too much stuff? No, that 2-piece business suit that I just put into my pile might fit my friend perfectly... but that girl in frumpy sweats and t-shirt on the side of the road with a cardboard sign? A good business suit might be exactly what she needs to be presentable enough to go have that job interview. Those shoes in my pile might look cute on my sister, or mom, or neighbor... but that barefoot woman walking back to her children under the bridge just passed her shoes off to her oldest daughter because hers finally fell apart. She is the one who truly needs them.
Over the next few days I am going to be looking into how we can best contact the people who truly need what we will all be getting rid of this month. I'm excited and daunted by the task ahead of us... I expect this month could be one of the most life changing ones in the whole series, simply because it will, Lord willing, put us in the presence of those with the greatest of needs. May the Lord use us in ways we aren't even imagining right now and open up a whole new world in the process!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Two Sides to Every Coin
What an overdue time of sitting down and writing... and I'm doing it in unsanctioned clothes as my DH whisks me off on a spontaneous adventure during which he has claimed the right to dictate what I wear. I haven't counted yet, but I think I have about 3 or 4 separate outfits for this little excursion, including high heels and a dress I consider to fall under the 'fancy' label. I'm thankful that I truly had no angst over agreeing to his heist of my project and my cohorts have been nothing but supportive of my embracing this opportunity. As my mom said, God does give us our husbands for balance!
With the realization that we are closing in on the halfway mark of this challenge comes the realization that it has been much, MUCH easier than the food month! The only real challenge comes with making sure I have clothes that are at least halfway clean when I need to leave the house. So far, the dress I picked out as my 7th item has been a lifesaver on that head. I wear it so infrequently that it's never dirty! The other problem I've faced is the shoe issue... I almost had a meltdown the other day when I stepped in the pottery clay that passes as dirt in our yard when I had on my flats. I mean, seriously... It was a Monday and had been a Monday in every sense of the term. Being a tad sleep deprived probably wasn't helping any. At the very least, I'm sure I got a glimpse into what it must feel like for that poor friend I'm trying to identify with to get the first stain/first rip/etc on their ONE nice thing. I ran inside and got the wet rag and stood over the trash can trying to restore them to their previous shiny state and still get out the door on schedule, slipping into my boots and carrying them to the car this time.
That evening I had a nice birthday supper with my sister-in-laws and got to catch up over some fresh Mediterranean food. As we laughed and groaned over each other's past few months I found myself asked once more what I was learning through this whole thing. It was easy to sum up the first month, but I found myself struggling at first to find some good, solid points that had come up in this one. Of course there was the obvious, "I found out I have too much stuff in my closet", but this month feels so much more complicated for some reason.
On the first day of this challenge I found myself working on something in the living room and, as I am wont to do, I had What Not To Wear playing in the background. Please, don't roll your eyes. I know reality tv is cheesy, but I actually liked that show one upon a time. It's gotten old, the timeline is precisely the same every single episode, and I have the rules memorized. But you have to understand that when I first got married I knew next to nothing about fashion and I learned a lot from Stacy and Clinton! So I guess you could say that there's a special place in my heart for that show. ;) But this episode was interesting in a new way because of the subject's story and how she ended up where she was.
Since I can't remember her name, I'll just call her Laura. Laura was a woman of about 30 and she got ambushed wearing baggy khaki slacks, a turtleneck sweater, and a misfitted, also khaki colored jacket. She was a business woman and her family, co-workers, and even boss were in on getting her nominated for the show. They had known her long enough to know her heart, her work ethic, and her passion for life. Their concern, as always, was that her lack of effort in the clothing department was holding her back in life and work. She jumped on the opportunity to go shopping, but soon became slightly more resistant as she went through the process of being lambasted for her wardrobe and chided for not putting forth more effort into her appearance. That's when we hear her back story.
It turns out that she was once an extremely stylish young lady. She actually said that she was a little too obsessed with fashion and fixated on her appearance to an extreme. But then she faced a life changing experience... she got caught in the crossfire of the genocide in Uganda. When she made it out alive the memories of what she had seen and experienced made all her fashionable clothes look pathetically frivolous in comparison. She started wearing whatever she had and never wasted money on her looks. Her priorities saw a 180... and it got her nominated for What Not To Wear. In two days time she spent over $6000 on a new wardrobe for herself. Throughout the shopping she struggled with the knowledge that she was spending so much. Stacy and Clinton argued that these clothes would help her affect the change she wanted to by making her more approachable and look as reputable as she actually was. She started to dust off her habits of dressing well and rediscovered the joy she found in feeling put together. Then she felt terrible when she thought of the genocide and how frivolous it all was. And she tried to find balance...
I sat there watching this unfold and felt the same tension I'm sure she was feeling because I understand both sides of the issue. I grew up caring very little about my appearance. My parents did an excellent job of making sure that their children's worth was not tied up in clothing, weight, or appearance of any kind and for that I'm grateful! But then I started hanging out with a group of people who knew how to dress. They NEVER made me feel like less of a person for my lack of skinny jeans and flats or cute scarves or any of it... But I started to wish that I knew how to put together an outfit like they could. More than a desire to look a certain way it was a desire for knowledge in the fashion department. So I learned. I experimented. I gave accessories a whirl and different colors and cuts and tried to start finding my own personal style instead of just picking pieces that covered me. And all my efforts at least doubled when my BF/soon-to-be-DH decided to get into the political realm and I realized that my life, and therefor my wardrobe, would be much more under the public's critical eye than my previous ranch hand laborer life had been. I started to find my niche in fashion and I liked it. Where I once hated clothes shopping I now enjoy it (in small quantities and only if successful). Yet, here I am learning about the evils of the fashion world from Jen. Yet, I know the truth of the other side of the coin as well.. that looking a certain way truly CAN give a platform from which to work to accomplish our goals.
In a perfect world, a Utopia where what we look like doesn't matter to anyone, fashion could be obsolete with no consequences. But I feel like in the real world it can't. I don't know... perhaps we need an army of brave pioneers who throw fashion out the window and staunchly face the music and do what needs done to change the norm we have now. Maybe it could actually make a difference. But I honestly don't see it. Personally, I see people throwing fashion out the window and eventually just making a new fashion. I'm looking at you, hipsters.
So... where does that leave me? Am I throwing out the premise of this chapter all together? Absolutely not. I see the premise of this chapter as being, like the premise of the book, simply fighting a consumeristic and excessive mentality. That's going to look different for you than it is for me. In fact, it will likely look different for me in 10 years than it does right now. Different people in different walks of life, different geological locations, and different callings will have different needs. There may come a day when looking put-together isn't necessary when I'm doing inner-city missions with under privileged kids and in that case I will probably need to re-evaluate my wardrobe. There may come a time when having 6 pairs of working jeans is rather ridiculous when I'm traveling with my aristocratic husband on his world-changing journeys and I have to find another pair of dress pants because I spilled coffee on my last one. But where I am right now? I know I will be culling through my clothes during month 3 because 331 items is too many for my needs and I KNOW that there are others out there who could use what I have. I will be simplifying while maintaining the 'put-togetherness' of my wardrobe. I won't be shopping just because I want to or because there's a sale. That's what I know for now... and there is still a half of a month for me to learn more. Honestly, I think I'd kind of pulled back a little psychologically and emotionally this month because of the overwhelming amount of angles from which I was trying to analyze this month. I'm going to try to be a little more thoughtful as I finish this month up.
With the realization that we are closing in on the halfway mark of this challenge comes the realization that it has been much, MUCH easier than the food month! The only real challenge comes with making sure I have clothes that are at least halfway clean when I need to leave the house. So far, the dress I picked out as my 7th item has been a lifesaver on that head. I wear it so infrequently that it's never dirty! The other problem I've faced is the shoe issue... I almost had a meltdown the other day when I stepped in the pottery clay that passes as dirt in our yard when I had on my flats. I mean, seriously... It was a Monday and had been a Monday in every sense of the term. Being a tad sleep deprived probably wasn't helping any. At the very least, I'm sure I got a glimpse into what it must feel like for that poor friend I'm trying to identify with to get the first stain/first rip/etc on their ONE nice thing. I ran inside and got the wet rag and stood over the trash can trying to restore them to their previous shiny state and still get out the door on schedule, slipping into my boots and carrying them to the car this time.
That evening I had a nice birthday supper with my sister-in-laws and got to catch up over some fresh Mediterranean food. As we laughed and groaned over each other's past few months I found myself asked once more what I was learning through this whole thing. It was easy to sum up the first month, but I found myself struggling at first to find some good, solid points that had come up in this one. Of course there was the obvious, "I found out I have too much stuff in my closet", but this month feels so much more complicated for some reason.
On the first day of this challenge I found myself working on something in the living room and, as I am wont to do, I had What Not To Wear playing in the background. Please, don't roll your eyes. I know reality tv is cheesy, but I actually liked that show one upon a time. It's gotten old, the timeline is precisely the same every single episode, and I have the rules memorized. But you have to understand that when I first got married I knew next to nothing about fashion and I learned a lot from Stacy and Clinton! So I guess you could say that there's a special place in my heart for that show. ;) But this episode was interesting in a new way because of the subject's story and how she ended up where she was.
Since I can't remember her name, I'll just call her Laura. Laura was a woman of about 30 and she got ambushed wearing baggy khaki slacks, a turtleneck sweater, and a misfitted, also khaki colored jacket. She was a business woman and her family, co-workers, and even boss were in on getting her nominated for the show. They had known her long enough to know her heart, her work ethic, and her passion for life. Their concern, as always, was that her lack of effort in the clothing department was holding her back in life and work. She jumped on the opportunity to go shopping, but soon became slightly more resistant as she went through the process of being lambasted for her wardrobe and chided for not putting forth more effort into her appearance. That's when we hear her back story.
It turns out that she was once an extremely stylish young lady. She actually said that she was a little too obsessed with fashion and fixated on her appearance to an extreme. But then she faced a life changing experience... she got caught in the crossfire of the genocide in Uganda. When she made it out alive the memories of what she had seen and experienced made all her fashionable clothes look pathetically frivolous in comparison. She started wearing whatever she had and never wasted money on her looks. Her priorities saw a 180... and it got her nominated for What Not To Wear. In two days time she spent over $6000 on a new wardrobe for herself. Throughout the shopping she struggled with the knowledge that she was spending so much. Stacy and Clinton argued that these clothes would help her affect the change she wanted to by making her more approachable and look as reputable as she actually was. She started to dust off her habits of dressing well and rediscovered the joy she found in feeling put together. Then she felt terrible when she thought of the genocide and how frivolous it all was. And she tried to find balance...
I sat there watching this unfold and felt the same tension I'm sure she was feeling because I understand both sides of the issue. I grew up caring very little about my appearance. My parents did an excellent job of making sure that their children's worth was not tied up in clothing, weight, or appearance of any kind and for that I'm grateful! But then I started hanging out with a group of people who knew how to dress. They NEVER made me feel like less of a person for my lack of skinny jeans and flats or cute scarves or any of it... But I started to wish that I knew how to put together an outfit like they could. More than a desire to look a certain way it was a desire for knowledge in the fashion department. So I learned. I experimented. I gave accessories a whirl and different colors and cuts and tried to start finding my own personal style instead of just picking pieces that covered me. And all my efforts at least doubled when my BF/soon-to-be-DH decided to get into the political realm and I realized that my life, and therefor my wardrobe, would be much more under the public's critical eye than my previous ranch hand laborer life had been. I started to find my niche in fashion and I liked it. Where I once hated clothes shopping I now enjoy it (in small quantities and only if successful). Yet, here I am learning about the evils of the fashion world from Jen. Yet, I know the truth of the other side of the coin as well.. that looking a certain way truly CAN give a platform from which to work to accomplish our goals.
In a perfect world, a Utopia where what we look like doesn't matter to anyone, fashion could be obsolete with no consequences. But I feel like in the real world it can't. I don't know... perhaps we need an army of brave pioneers who throw fashion out the window and staunchly face the music and do what needs done to change the norm we have now. Maybe it could actually make a difference. But I honestly don't see it. Personally, I see people throwing fashion out the window and eventually just making a new fashion. I'm looking at you, hipsters.
So... where does that leave me? Am I throwing out the premise of this chapter all together? Absolutely not. I see the premise of this chapter as being, like the premise of the book, simply fighting a consumeristic and excessive mentality. That's going to look different for you than it is for me. In fact, it will likely look different for me in 10 years than it does right now. Different people in different walks of life, different geological locations, and different callings will have different needs. There may come a day when looking put-together isn't necessary when I'm doing inner-city missions with under privileged kids and in that case I will probably need to re-evaluate my wardrobe. There may come a time when having 6 pairs of working jeans is rather ridiculous when I'm traveling with my aristocratic husband on his world-changing journeys and I have to find another pair of dress pants because I spilled coffee on my last one. But where I am right now? I know I will be culling through my clothes during month 3 because 331 items is too many for my needs and I KNOW that there are others out there who could use what I have. I will be simplifying while maintaining the 'put-togetherness' of my wardrobe. I won't be shopping just because I want to or because there's a sale. That's what I know for now... and there is still a half of a month for me to learn more. Honestly, I think I'd kind of pulled back a little psychologically and emotionally this month because of the overwhelming amount of angles from which I was trying to analyze this month. I'm going to try to be a little more thoughtful as I finish this month up.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Closet Comparison
Today was day 1 of month 2. Once I managed to make the decision about what to put on this morning it went quite well, although I did have to wonder about my choices as the day progressed.
7 articles of clothing for an entire month... Do you have any idea how hard it was to narrow it down to 7 articles of clothing? My life isn't conducive to that size of wardrobe. I can, in a single day's time, spend hours working in the dirt, change to run errands, and then clean up to attend a reception with my husband. Throw in a workout somewhere in there and I could see multiple wardrobe changes in just one 24 hour period. Of course, I could just wash everything at the end of every day, right? The problem with that is that there's simply no way to make 7 pieces of clothing create 4 outfits with shoe changes and differing functions. So... I had to make choices on what I would be most focused on throughout this month and provide clothing for those particular activities.
The Council has decided to follow Jen's example and count 2 pairs of shoes as 1 article (yes, I know... this month we're really doing '8'...). For me, my boots and simple black flats were the obvious choices, although I desperately wanted tennis shoes as well. That's #1. My other 6 are as follows.
- Skinny Jeans... the pair that already has a slight stain and I really won't care if I stain them further
- Button-Up... purple plaid, with easy to roll up long sleeves and able to be worn tucked in or out
- Castle Ranch T... my favorite, most comfortable top
- Athletic Shorts... lightweight, comfortable, and needed for working out, relaxing, and playing volleyball
- Dress... not yet found! Looking for a lightweight but long, easy to dress up or down dress
- Black Peacoat... I hope it's never so cold I have to wear it to work in, but if one must be ruined it's this one
As this month drew close I decided I should take an account of my current clothing situation. If the purpose of '7' is to learn - to learn about the poor, to learn about myself, and to learn about and develop the connection between us - I needed to know where I stood and how we compare. My findings were... embarrassing. I'd really rather not, but I promised myself and my Council that the numbers would be made public. Everything in my closet and dresser, with the exception of socks and underwear, was counted. Everything from pants to belts, scarves to outerwear, even those formal gowns I never wear; it all went into the final tally.
331. Thus is the number of my closet. If you figure in that I spent around $5 per item that means I have over $1500 tied up in my clothing. That might seem like I'm low balling it to make myself feel better, but I promise you, that really IS about what I tend to spend on my clothes. I'm the kind of person who will put something I like back on the rack at Goodwill because it's not the half-off color of the week. BUT... shoes are in that count as well, and I tend to spend around $10-$15 on shoes. Yes, that's about 80% off of regularly priced shoes... I absolutely love RedDot Sales at the Shoe Dept! BUT again, I know that my two pairs of cowboy boots were significantly more expensive than anything else in my closet, and gowns are a bit pricier as well. All things considered, I'm estimating that there sits within my closet somewhere between $1750 and $2000. I'll say it again... that's down right embarrassing.
Now, I know that some of you really want to reach through your computer screens and give me an encouraging pat on the back and tell me that it's not that bad. Maybe you think it's silly of me to feel embarrassed about my closet when you know there are closets worth many times more. But see, that's the problem with comparison... I could very easily choose to compare my closet to the first lady's closet and feel fully justified in going on a shopping spree. I could choose to compare it to a similar closet and not deal with feelings either of deprivation or embarrassment. Or I could do as I am doing now.
I choose to compare my closet with those who don't even have one at all, much less have one full of clothes. That choice isn't based on some strange desire to try and evoke feelings of guilt. In fact, I believe that 'there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus'. Feelings of guilt and shame are feelings to be fought with the truth of God's grace whenever they raise their ugly heads! No, my choice to set my closet next to an emptier one is for no other reason than to spur me into action and restrain my hand from grasping after more. I can't really think of any other reason to go count your clothes, sum up an estimate, and put it out there for the world to see... It's certainly not an exercise to be labeled 'just-for-fun'. :)
This month is going to be interesting, for sure! I have some ideas of what I will deal with throughout the next 4 weeks, but I'm looking forward to see what unexpected issues arise as well. The Council is meeting tomorrow night to discuss the details and display our choices while we enjoy (read, gorge ourselves on!) Mexican food. I'm bringing guacamole... just because I actually do still love avocados. Surprise surprise! It will be good to see them all again, laugh over last month's stories and this month's question marks, and argue over the nitty-gritty details of what exactly constitutes as an 'article of clothing'. ;) I am so grateful for these ladies... doing this alone would have been such a different story!
7 articles of clothing for an entire month... Do you have any idea how hard it was to narrow it down to 7 articles of clothing? My life isn't conducive to that size of wardrobe. I can, in a single day's time, spend hours working in the dirt, change to run errands, and then clean up to attend a reception with my husband. Throw in a workout somewhere in there and I could see multiple wardrobe changes in just one 24 hour period. Of course, I could just wash everything at the end of every day, right? The problem with that is that there's simply no way to make 7 pieces of clothing create 4 outfits with shoe changes and differing functions. So... I had to make choices on what I would be most focused on throughout this month and provide clothing for those particular activities.
The Council has decided to follow Jen's example and count 2 pairs of shoes as 1 article (yes, I know... this month we're really doing '8'...). For me, my boots and simple black flats were the obvious choices, although I desperately wanted tennis shoes as well. That's #1. My other 6 are as follows.
- Skinny Jeans... the pair that already has a slight stain and I really won't care if I stain them further
- Button-Up... purple plaid, with easy to roll up long sleeves and able to be worn tucked in or out
- Castle Ranch T... my favorite, most comfortable top
- Athletic Shorts... lightweight, comfortable, and needed for working out, relaxing, and playing volleyball
- Dress... not yet found! Looking for a lightweight but long, easy to dress up or down dress
- Black Peacoat... I hope it's never so cold I have to wear it to work in, but if one must be ruined it's this one
As this month drew close I decided I should take an account of my current clothing situation. If the purpose of '7' is to learn - to learn about the poor, to learn about myself, and to learn about and develop the connection between us - I needed to know where I stood and how we compare. My findings were... embarrassing. I'd really rather not, but I promised myself and my Council that the numbers would be made public. Everything in my closet and dresser, with the exception of socks and underwear, was counted. Everything from pants to belts, scarves to outerwear, even those formal gowns I never wear; it all went into the final tally.
331. Thus is the number of my closet. If you figure in that I spent around $5 per item that means I have over $1500 tied up in my clothing. That might seem like I'm low balling it to make myself feel better, but I promise you, that really IS about what I tend to spend on my clothes. I'm the kind of person who will put something I like back on the rack at Goodwill because it's not the half-off color of the week. BUT... shoes are in that count as well, and I tend to spend around $10-$15 on shoes. Yes, that's about 80% off of regularly priced shoes... I absolutely love RedDot Sales at the Shoe Dept! BUT again, I know that my two pairs of cowboy boots were significantly more expensive than anything else in my closet, and gowns are a bit pricier as well. All things considered, I'm estimating that there sits within my closet somewhere between $1750 and $2000. I'll say it again... that's down right embarrassing.
Now, I know that some of you really want to reach through your computer screens and give me an encouraging pat on the back and tell me that it's not that bad. Maybe you think it's silly of me to feel embarrassed about my closet when you know there are closets worth many times more. But see, that's the problem with comparison... I could very easily choose to compare my closet to the first lady's closet and feel fully justified in going on a shopping spree. I could choose to compare it to a similar closet and not deal with feelings either of deprivation or embarrassment. Or I could do as I am doing now.
I choose to compare my closet with those who don't even have one at all, much less have one full of clothes. That choice isn't based on some strange desire to try and evoke feelings of guilt. In fact, I believe that 'there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus'. Feelings of guilt and shame are feelings to be fought with the truth of God's grace whenever they raise their ugly heads! No, my choice to set my closet next to an emptier one is for no other reason than to spur me into action and restrain my hand from grasping after more. I can't really think of any other reason to go count your clothes, sum up an estimate, and put it out there for the world to see... It's certainly not an exercise to be labeled 'just-for-fun'. :)
This month is going to be interesting, for sure! I have some ideas of what I will deal with throughout the next 4 weeks, but I'm looking forward to see what unexpected issues arise as well. The Council is meeting tomorrow night to discuss the details and display our choices while we enjoy (read, gorge ourselves on!) Mexican food. I'm bringing guacamole... just because I actually do still love avocados. Surprise surprise! It will be good to see them all again, laugh over last month's stories and this month's question marks, and argue over the nitty-gritty details of what exactly constitutes as an 'article of clothing'. ;) I am so grateful for these ladies... doing this alone would have been such a different story!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Too Full of Cookies?
My emotions are mixed as I sit here trying to recap the entirety of the first month of '7'... It's hard to believe that it's over and time to move onto the next challenge. At the same time, it feels like we started the food month much more than a month ago. The excitement of being free to eat whatever I want is going up against the feeling of being overwhelmed with options. The thirst for variety is being beaten down by the new found enjoyment of simplicity. And, of course, the happiness of a tongue being tickled with explosions of flavors is fighting for superiority over a stomach that has grown accustomed to simplicity.
But more importantly than any of those things is the task of figuring out how to incorporate what I've learned into my normal, every day life. From the very beginning, I knew that the danger of this entire thing was that it become a filling-of-the-square fast; something I could add to my list of 'Christian accomplishments' but that didn't actually change my life. The last thing I want is to have something to look back on and puff myself up. A lot of good that would do me... "The Lord sets Himself against the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
Looking back on the February fast might seem like a great way to build myself up. I mean, self-control saw an all-time high, right? Not even licking my fingers when I cooked for DH... that really took grit! But really, the thing that stands out to me about the month is all the ways I saw how weak I actually am. Because in all the tough temptations I faced and overcame I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was so not me. I don't do that. And in the two days that have passed since the end of the challenge I've proven it! :P I don't deny myself normally, because I don't normally have a reason. But when God is behind me... He is my strength! It begs the questions, 'What could I achieve, through His strength, in my regular, day to day life? How can I tap into that strength on a regular basis and what would He have me channel that strength to overcome or accomplish?'
There is a shared sentiment among the 'council' that we will actually miss the food fast. Some of us even woke up on March 1st and felt a certain amount of sadness that it was over. God was so very present and we saw and learned things we never expected to see and learn. Some of those were written about in a previous post, "Surprises/Lessons from the 1st Week". Others are hard to explain in a blog post... hard to even explain to each other, face-to-face. But we are all so expectant... We can't wait for this month's revelations!
Sometimes, I find someone else's blog post and feel like they've been inside my head, stolen my thoughts, and written them down better than I could have. My mom shared just such a post with our group this morning and I would encourage all of my readers to head on over and read Ann Voskamp's take on what plagues the American Christian. She explains it so beautifully, simply, and vividly... our appetites for God are being suppressed by other things; the appetite-ruiners like those cookies our parents never let us have before the main meal.
It's so true... but it's so exciting to see that many of us are growing tired of being too full of cookies to truly enjoy the main thing in life. It may prove difficult to refuse them. In fact, I'm absolutely sure of it. After all, one of the biggest business in America is advertisement! But if there's one thing Month 1 showed me it's that having a God-given purpose can give even the weakest of wills the strength to refuse the tastiest of morsels, whether those be for the mouth of to clothe the body.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Eating Words
Every once in awhile you find yourself having to eat your words (no pun intended). Usually, I'm pretty guarded about what I say with no disclaimer so I won't have to come back later and try to backtrack. There are a lot of things in life that are subject to opinion and should be stated as such, a lot of things that are facts and should be checked before claiming, and a lot of things which can be disproved with new information that need a disclaimer. Usually, if you make sure that your opinion is stated as an opinion, your facts have been checked, and you admit you don't know everything there is to know about the given topic, you're pretty safe.
But honestly... who goes to those lengths when you're writing about yourself?
Remember when I told you that I wasn't an emotional eater? Well... I take it back. New evidence has come to light that would seem to disprove that claim. As the middle of week 3 showed me, I AM an emotional eater. I just don't often get upset enough for it to shine through. But when I did, I found myself feeling this 'need' to indulge myself in flavors. Throughout the day I wanted to munch at a whole new level. My mind was unsettled and I couldn't be still, resulting in (real or imagined) hunger and cravings that outdid the ones I had felt clear back at the beginning of the month. And when DH and I stopped at BWW for supper and my dish of plain ol' 'Naked Tenders" was placed in front of me, I thought I might cry. While he half-way sympathetically smiled before digging into his gooey, saucy, juicy wings I had to force myself to simply grab a lemon out of my water and squeeze it over the top of my chicken.
It was another surprise for me; a discovery about myself. But as I sat there and bit into my 7-sanctioned meal I took a deep breath... and then another... and another... and I settled down to enjoy the evening, 'Naked Tenders' and all. Sure, I still wanted to reach over and steal a few fries from DH as I'm wont to do, and when we next go there I likely will. But to be able to have a breakthrough like that in a problem you didn't even know you had is amazing. In the space of 24 hours I learned that I was an emotional eater AND that I didn't have to be. Well done, God. No better teacher than You!
I'm so grateful for the lessons I am learning during this challenge. Some have taken me off guard; they've been totally unexpected. Others were ones I had already been contemplating before starting; they've been built upon. All of them have been valuable and I expect them to continue to do the gradual work of changing my heart, my life, and my world. Now there are only a few days left of the food month and then I will be delving into month #2. I can only imagine what is in store for me there as I face all of the same indulgent habits along with all the new facets of consumerism it brings.
But I'm getting ahead of myself... this month isn't over. Bring on the last 3 days!!!
But honestly... who goes to those lengths when you're writing about yourself?
Remember when I told you that I wasn't an emotional eater? Well... I take it back. New evidence has come to light that would seem to disprove that claim. As the middle of week 3 showed me, I AM an emotional eater. I just don't often get upset enough for it to shine through. But when I did, I found myself feeling this 'need' to indulge myself in flavors. Throughout the day I wanted to munch at a whole new level. My mind was unsettled and I couldn't be still, resulting in (real or imagined) hunger and cravings that outdid the ones I had felt clear back at the beginning of the month. And when DH and I stopped at BWW for supper and my dish of plain ol' 'Naked Tenders" was placed in front of me, I thought I might cry. While he half-way sympathetically smiled before digging into his gooey, saucy, juicy wings I had to force myself to simply grab a lemon out of my water and squeeze it over the top of my chicken.
It was another surprise for me; a discovery about myself. But as I sat there and bit into my 7-sanctioned meal I took a deep breath... and then another... and another... and I settled down to enjoy the evening, 'Naked Tenders' and all. Sure, I still wanted to reach over and steal a few fries from DH as I'm wont to do, and when we next go there I likely will. But to be able to have a breakthrough like that in a problem you didn't even know you had is amazing. In the space of 24 hours I learned that I was an emotional eater AND that I didn't have to be. Well done, God. No better teacher than You!
I'm so grateful for the lessons I am learning during this challenge. Some have taken me off guard; they've been totally unexpected. Others were ones I had already been contemplating before starting; they've been built upon. All of them have been valuable and I expect them to continue to do the gradual work of changing my heart, my life, and my world. Now there are only a few days left of the food month and then I will be delving into month #2. I can only imagine what is in store for me there as I face all of the same indulgent habits along with all the new facets of consumerism it brings.
But I'm getting ahead of myself... this month isn't over. Bring on the last 3 days!!!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
A Long Way to Go
Sometimes, like today, it feels like I have such a very long way to go. Not in '7', not in this month of limited food options; no, in the whole heart transformation I seek.
Valentine's weekend was absolutely wonderful. Cracker Barrel for brunch... stuffed myself. Iguana Grill for supper... stuffed myself. My parent's house to celebrate my sister's birthday super... stuffed myself. I seriously loved every moment of it. Enchiladas, cheesecake, and blueberry muffins never tasted better! Did a number on my digestive tract *ahem* but it was worth it. :)
The downside has been coming off of those two glorious days and returning to my chicken, avacados, eggs, spinach, sweet potatoes, lemons, and bananas. I've had to make it through a church lunch with about 6 different dessert choices. The munchies have been my constant companion on this, an entire day at home. I want to bake something yummy to eat while I watch this movie that's playing. Or, at the very least, have some toast with my eggs! Instead, I will soon go and blend up a banana and ice smoothie to eat with a spoon and pretend it's ice cream. I've felt deprived, to put it bluntly.
To think that I felt deprived when I had plenty to eat is a disappointment. The thoughts about 'me' and what 'I' wasn't getting to eat were so numerous... and how many times a day do I cast a thought for the millions of people who won't get to eat at all? Or who dig through the trash in hopes of finding someone else's cast off? It's a saddening glimpse into my heart.
I have continued my intensive reading/studying over the past month and have so much going on in my head about the way the Christian life is supposed to look and how the church is supposed to function. Me thinks I may have been a little ambitious and taken a bigger bite than I can handle right now! Going crazy and brain dead may be in my foreseeable future. It's overwhelming to see how far we have to go. It's discouraging to have to wonder how many people would even be willing to see a change. It's confusing to not have a clue what the next step is. All in all, it's resulted in more than one afternoon of staring out the window and fighting back the flood of emotions that comes with having a million question marks and no periods.
But time in communion with my Heavenly Father has yielded at least a short-term plan for me. As I poured my heart out about my confusion and this lost, deer-in-headlights feeling I was fighting, He grounded me back in my own, personal reality. "Just stay faithful to '7'" He whispered. "I led you to it. Do that and rest in knowing that I will show you what comes next."
I am such an all-or-nothing person... When something has my attention I dream big, plan bigger, and go all in. And sometimes throwing caution to the wind and just going for it is exactly what following Jesus looks like. But other times, following Jesus looks like 3 years of talking to people who will eventually crucify you. The disciples were ready to help Jesus get His army together to plant that kingdom too... but that wasn't the first step in the journey.
One step at a time... one month at a time. Stay faithful. Trust Him to effect the change. He knows my future, the future of the church, the future of the nation. Pursue Him wholeheartedly... and let Him do HIS work.
Valentine's weekend was absolutely wonderful. Cracker Barrel for brunch... stuffed myself. Iguana Grill for supper... stuffed myself. My parent's house to celebrate my sister's birthday super... stuffed myself. I seriously loved every moment of it. Enchiladas, cheesecake, and blueberry muffins never tasted better! Did a number on my digestive tract *ahem* but it was worth it. :)
The downside has been coming off of those two glorious days and returning to my chicken, avacados, eggs, spinach, sweet potatoes, lemons, and bananas. I've had to make it through a church lunch with about 6 different dessert choices. The munchies have been my constant companion on this, an entire day at home. I want to bake something yummy to eat while I watch this movie that's playing. Or, at the very least, have some toast with my eggs! Instead, I will soon go and blend up a banana and ice smoothie to eat with a spoon and pretend it's ice cream. I've felt deprived, to put it bluntly.
To think that I felt deprived when I had plenty to eat is a disappointment. The thoughts about 'me' and what 'I' wasn't getting to eat were so numerous... and how many times a day do I cast a thought for the millions of people who won't get to eat at all? Or who dig through the trash in hopes of finding someone else's cast off? It's a saddening glimpse into my heart.
I have continued my intensive reading/studying over the past month and have so much going on in my head about the way the Christian life is supposed to look and how the church is supposed to function. Me thinks I may have been a little ambitious and taken a bigger bite than I can handle right now! Going crazy and brain dead may be in my foreseeable future. It's overwhelming to see how far we have to go. It's discouraging to have to wonder how many people would even be willing to see a change. It's confusing to not have a clue what the next step is. All in all, it's resulted in more than one afternoon of staring out the window and fighting back the flood of emotions that comes with having a million question marks and no periods.
But time in communion with my Heavenly Father has yielded at least a short-term plan for me. As I poured my heart out about my confusion and this lost, deer-in-headlights feeling I was fighting, He grounded me back in my own, personal reality. "Just stay faithful to '7'" He whispered. "I led you to it. Do that and rest in knowing that I will show you what comes next."
I am such an all-or-nothing person... When something has my attention I dream big, plan bigger, and go all in. And sometimes throwing caution to the wind and just going for it is exactly what following Jesus looks like. But other times, following Jesus looks like 3 years of talking to people who will eventually crucify you. The disciples were ready to help Jesus get His army together to plant that kingdom too... but that wasn't the first step in the journey.
One step at a time... one month at a time. Stay faithful. Trust Him to effect the change. He knows my future, the future of the church, the future of the nation. Pursue Him wholeheartedly... and let Him do HIS work.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Surprises/Lessons from the 1st Week
It's been a week already... And I can't believe I'm using the word 'already' to describe the passage of time during this month of self-denial and simplicity. But it's true. We're a quarter of the way done with the food challenge. How about a moment of dancing for joy? :)
In all honesty though, I've been genuinely surprised by a few things. Of course, the surprises are coupled with things I've learned in the process, so I must convey them by talking about the lessons themselves. Surprises are like that... the moment of shock when you walk in on a birthday party in your honor is the moment you learn that all of your friends have been scheming behind your back.
Surprise/Lesson #1 - I Cook Out of my Spice Cabinet
Do you have any idea how many times I have reached for the garlic powder or the crushed red pepper flakes? Or the vanilla? Or the oregano? Or the________...??? Salt and pepper my foot! I'm beginning to question the wisdom of my choice of lemons for flavor. I mean, they save my hide when it's salad time at lunch, but man! What I wouldn't give for some garlic! All that to say, I've come to realize that I have no appreciation for the naturally present flavors of my food. I smother it in added seasonings regularly. Now that I've had a week of eating it plain, I'm slowly recognizing that real food plain is actually quite flavorful in and of itself. A little salt can really bring it out!
Surprise/Lesson #2 - I have 'Errands' Systematically Connected to 'Food'
Seriously. Running around town tends to be a lengthy process for me and, as I mentioned in a previous post, it usually sees me stopping somewhere. Somewhere with food. And a Dr. Pepper. That being said, my last day of running errands I lived off of bananas and a hard boiled egg and didn't really get hungry. (Have I mentioned that I'm convinced my stomach is shrinking?) Wanted something, yes. But got hungry? No. And with this discovery has come another. I can actually 'make it' without stopping and buying some highly-processed, mostly-fake, fast food yumminess that is bad for me and slowly erodes away my wallet. I've thought about looking back to see how much I generally spend at fast food places in a month but the thought scared me. Plus I knew how difficult it would be to differentiate between my purchases and DH's so I decided I had learned this lesson without that information anyway so I didn't need it now.
Surprise/Lesson #3 - I am a Creature of Habit
Okay... this wasn't really a surprise or a lesson. I knew this about myself, but I rediscovered it. Maybe it's still a tad early to make this claim, but I feel like I have already formed this routine of eating. Breakfast - Eggs & Avacado Lunch - Spinach Salad Snack - Banana Supper - Sweet Potato & Chicken To be totally honest, I am falling in love with the simplicity of this reduction. Sure, I'd kick up the spice and flavor bit. But eating the same thing over and over again is so easy on the brain. AND, it makes cheat days like yesterday extra special. It was actually exciting to go to the store for ingredients and spend hours in the kitchen cooking my man's birthday supper! Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that there is still ice and snow all around and I'm growing a deep and dark hatred for the cold and anything to do with winter... but still. It was fun!
Surpise/Lesson #4 - We Equate Social Gatherings with Food
I used to think it was a Baptist thing, that we couldn't get together without eating. Any more, I'm convinced that it's just a human thing. The council has agreed. We get together for lunch, celebrate with food, chat over coffee and doughnuts... Whenever we're invited to ANYthing social, we always ask "What should we bring?" Really, now, what would a party be without finger foods? Honestly, I don't know. It's not that I think this is a problem, per say, but you have to wonder how much more actual time we could spend together if we weren't spending our time in the kitchen.
Surprise/Lesson #5 - I Can't Explain '7' in Under 5 Minutes
No, I haven't actually timed myself... yet. But when I showed up at church on Wednesday night (Fellowship Dinner Night... Man that chili smelled good!) with my bag of groceries and began to assemble my own supper like the picky eater I've never been, of course the questions came. I was seriously wishing for my 7-Buddy Amy to be there to help me out but, alas, I had forgotten that she does Awana at another location on Wednesdays. So I was on my own to field questions to those who had never heard about it. I've tried to come up with simple one-liners to satisfy people's curiosity but so far they haven't been enough. Apparently, a 'fast from excess' doesn't compute as a good reason to pass up chili in the frozen tundra of Oklahoma for a salad, dry chicken, and a sweet potato. Usually I end up telling them about the book and suggesting they read it to find out all the cool stuff I left out. Your welcome, Jen, for the advertisement. ;)
Surprise/Lesson #6 - God is Faithful to Provide
Different levels of surprise have been reported by my faithful friends... but we all agree on the lesson. With varying depths of struggle and temptation, we have all grown stronger in this endeavor. What was once painful to see and not have (your husband's jalapeno poppers in the oven) is now a labor of love, made more sweet by the fact that it's for your loved ones entirely and you get no benefit other than knowing it is enjoyed by them. Kristi said that, in answer to her prayers, it is becoming easier to prepare meals for her family without even being tempted. And being obedient in this one challenge has served to be a reminder time after time throughout the day to be in prayer and has driven us closer to the One Who provides all of our needs and lavishes on us so many of our wants! As my mom, Michele, put it "God is faithful to walk you through what He calls you to do." If He is calling you to something... please do it! You never know who you will bless or how it will bless you.
In all honesty though, I've been genuinely surprised by a few things. Of course, the surprises are coupled with things I've learned in the process, so I must convey them by talking about the lessons themselves. Surprises are like that... the moment of shock when you walk in on a birthday party in your honor is the moment you learn that all of your friends have been scheming behind your back.
Surprise/Lesson #1 - I Cook Out of my Spice Cabinet
Do you have any idea how many times I have reached for the garlic powder or the crushed red pepper flakes? Or the vanilla? Or the oregano? Or the________...??? Salt and pepper my foot! I'm beginning to question the wisdom of my choice of lemons for flavor. I mean, they save my hide when it's salad time at lunch, but man! What I wouldn't give for some garlic! All that to say, I've come to realize that I have no appreciation for the naturally present flavors of my food. I smother it in added seasonings regularly. Now that I've had a week of eating it plain, I'm slowly recognizing that real food plain is actually quite flavorful in and of itself. A little salt can really bring it out!
Surprise/Lesson #2 - I have 'Errands' Systematically Connected to 'Food'
Seriously. Running around town tends to be a lengthy process for me and, as I mentioned in a previous post, it usually sees me stopping somewhere. Somewhere with food. And a Dr. Pepper. That being said, my last day of running errands I lived off of bananas and a hard boiled egg and didn't really get hungry. (Have I mentioned that I'm convinced my stomach is shrinking?) Wanted something, yes. But got hungry? No. And with this discovery has come another. I can actually 'make it' without stopping and buying some highly-processed, mostly-fake, fast food yumminess that is bad for me and slowly erodes away my wallet. I've thought about looking back to see how much I generally spend at fast food places in a month but the thought scared me. Plus I knew how difficult it would be to differentiate between my purchases and DH's so I decided I had learned this lesson without that information anyway so I didn't need it now.
Surprise/Lesson #3 - I am a Creature of Habit
Okay... this wasn't really a surprise or a lesson. I knew this about myself, but I rediscovered it. Maybe it's still a tad early to make this claim, but I feel like I have already formed this routine of eating. Breakfast - Eggs & Avacado Lunch - Spinach Salad Snack - Banana Supper - Sweet Potato & Chicken To be totally honest, I am falling in love with the simplicity of this reduction. Sure, I'd kick up the spice and flavor bit. But eating the same thing over and over again is so easy on the brain. AND, it makes cheat days like yesterday extra special. It was actually exciting to go to the store for ingredients and spend hours in the kitchen cooking my man's birthday supper! Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that there is still ice and snow all around and I'm growing a deep and dark hatred for the cold and anything to do with winter... but still. It was fun!
Surpise/Lesson #4 - We Equate Social Gatherings with Food
I used to think it was a Baptist thing, that we couldn't get together without eating. Any more, I'm convinced that it's just a human thing. The council has agreed. We get together for lunch, celebrate with food, chat over coffee and doughnuts... Whenever we're invited to ANYthing social, we always ask "What should we bring?" Really, now, what would a party be without finger foods? Honestly, I don't know. It's not that I think this is a problem, per say, but you have to wonder how much more actual time we could spend together if we weren't spending our time in the kitchen.
Surprise/Lesson #5 - I Can't Explain '7' in Under 5 Minutes
No, I haven't actually timed myself... yet. But when I showed up at church on Wednesday night (Fellowship Dinner Night... Man that chili smelled good!) with my bag of groceries and began to assemble my own supper like the picky eater I've never been, of course the questions came. I was seriously wishing for my 7-Buddy Amy to be there to help me out but, alas, I had forgotten that she does Awana at another location on Wednesdays. So I was on my own to field questions to those who had never heard about it. I've tried to come up with simple one-liners to satisfy people's curiosity but so far they haven't been enough. Apparently, a 'fast from excess' doesn't compute as a good reason to pass up chili in the frozen tundra of Oklahoma for a salad, dry chicken, and a sweet potato. Usually I end up telling them about the book and suggesting they read it to find out all the cool stuff I left out. Your welcome, Jen, for the advertisement. ;)
Surprise/Lesson #6 - God is Faithful to Provide
Different levels of surprise have been reported by my faithful friends... but we all agree on the lesson. With varying depths of struggle and temptation, we have all grown stronger in this endeavor. What was once painful to see and not have (your husband's jalapeno poppers in the oven) is now a labor of love, made more sweet by the fact that it's for your loved ones entirely and you get no benefit other than knowing it is enjoyed by them. Kristi said that, in answer to her prayers, it is becoming easier to prepare meals for her family without even being tempted. And being obedient in this one challenge has served to be a reminder time after time throughout the day to be in prayer and has driven us closer to the One Who provides all of our needs and lavishes on us so many of our wants! As my mom, Michele, put it "God is faithful to walk you through what He calls you to do." If He is calling you to something... please do it! You never know who you will bless or how it will bless you.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
-------- Week 1 --------
Day 2:
Behold, my 7 chosen items. And yes, I have already wished for another option. :)
1) Eggs
2) Chicken
3) Sweet Potato
4) Spinach
5) Avacado
6) Banana
7) Lemon
We are allowed salt and pepper and a little bit of oil. We are also officially allowed to cheat on family birthdays and Valentine's Day (DH would have a cow if I told him he wasn't allowed to 'treat' me that day... aw shucks, gee, I guess you are allowed, Honey!).
Every one of us was out and about on day 1, attending some event where the yummiest of foods were available to us. My mom reported that God made temptations easy for her... I need to find out what secret line she's talking to Him on. Lunch went by okay, but by the time my craft fair was done and it was time to go home I 'needed' a Dr. Pepper. And it was Happy Hour. No, I didn't cave. I just craved. Then I went to pick up a pizza for the guys to eat while watching the basketball game and the smell was driving me crazy! So yeah... first day wasn't a piece of cake.
It probably didn't help that the craft show was (almost) a complete failure. Had it not been for the one board sold to another vendor I might have written if off entirely and sat in my little pity party. In the middle of it my DH asked how I was dealing with the disappointment and I realized how high I had set my expectations. Silly me... I thought I was firmly grounded in reality and keeping a good check on my dreams. Alas, it seems that that's simply not how I do things. Dreaming big isn't something I even knew I tended to do just a short time ago, but I can see the pattern now.
But the joy that came with selling that one board at the end of the show helped bring my resolve back to the surface. The sweet young couple who chose to put their money towards a month of orphan care were genuinely interested in the approach I was using. Yes, they liked the product... but the husband had originally stopped to check out the chart that showed what each product would provide for a needy family. It was that ability to give that grabbed his attention. It gave me hope for the world, hope for the average joe I see in my day-to-day life. And, just as DH pointed out to me that perhaps the point of this venture wasn't so much about selling granite cutting boards as it was about my willingness to do so, maybe there's another point. Maybe the goal is to wake up a sleeping giant. Maybe it's more about giving others the same vision I have than trying to end poverty on my own. To use an analogy in a book I read recently, maybe my mission is to use my water hose to wake up the sleeping firefighters instead of trying to use my trickle to put out the fire. Maybe.
Behold, my 7 chosen items. And yes, I have already wished for another option. :)
1) Eggs
2) Chicken
3) Sweet Potato
4) Spinach
5) Avacado
6) Banana
7) Lemon
We are allowed salt and pepper and a little bit of oil. We are also officially allowed to cheat on family birthdays and Valentine's Day (DH would have a cow if I told him he wasn't allowed to 'treat' me that day... aw shucks, gee, I guess you are allowed, Honey!).
Every one of us was out and about on day 1, attending some event where the yummiest of foods were available to us. My mom reported that God made temptations easy for her... I need to find out what secret line she's talking to Him on. Lunch went by okay, but by the time my craft fair was done and it was time to go home I 'needed' a Dr. Pepper. And it was Happy Hour. No, I didn't cave. I just craved. Then I went to pick up a pizza for the guys to eat while watching the basketball game and the smell was driving me crazy! So yeah... first day wasn't a piece of cake.
It probably didn't help that the craft show was (almost) a complete failure. Had it not been for the one board sold to another vendor I might have written if off entirely and sat in my little pity party. In the middle of it my DH asked how I was dealing with the disappointment and I realized how high I had set my expectations. Silly me... I thought I was firmly grounded in reality and keeping a good check on my dreams. Alas, it seems that that's simply not how I do things. Dreaming big isn't something I even knew I tended to do just a short time ago, but I can see the pattern now.
But the joy that came with selling that one board at the end of the show helped bring my resolve back to the surface. The sweet young couple who chose to put their money towards a month of orphan care were genuinely interested in the approach I was using. Yes, they liked the product... but the husband had originally stopped to check out the chart that showed what each product would provide for a needy family. It was that ability to give that grabbed his attention. It gave me hope for the world, hope for the average joe I see in my day-to-day life. And, just as DH pointed out to me that perhaps the point of this venture wasn't so much about selling granite cutting boards as it was about my willingness to do so, maybe there's another point. Maybe the goal is to wake up a sleeping giant. Maybe it's more about giving others the same vision I have than trying to end poverty on my own. To use an analogy in a book I read recently, maybe my mission is to use my water hose to wake up the sleeping firefighters instead of trying to use my trickle to put out the fire. Maybe.
Monday, January 27, 2014
The Last Week
I have 5 more days left to stuff my face with all the
goodies my heart desires. Right now I’m munching on buffalo jerky. I will be having a
Dr. Pepper with my lunch. And Shepherd’s Pie is on the menu for the evening
meal today.
In other words… next week is going to be tough.
I’ll be honest… this month seemed like it would be one of
the simpler ones for me. I’m really, truly, not that high maintenance when it
comes to food. If I were only cooking for myself, if I were single and living
in an apartment somewhere, I’d be the kind to fix a pot of chili on Monday and
eat it all week long. Eating the same thing over and over again doesn't really
seem like a big deal to me. BUT… making a dish out of only 7 ingredients and 0
spices is going to be a different story. I’ll admit it… Now that it’s right in
front of me I am realizing that this could be more difficult than I originally
anticipated.
Over the years I've been to 3 different countries for
mission trips. In all 3 of those the food options were comparatively limited.
In Monterrey, Mexico every single breakfast (except the one when the Americans
treated them with pancakes) we had eggs, refried beans, and tortillas. In
Lilongwe, Malawi and Arusha, Tanzania we had rice and an unidentified meat in
its natural juices for every meal during the day, except for when we were
treated to fried grasshoppers. In other words, this challenge has, at its
heart, the goal of being able to identify with the poorest of the world in
their inability to have whatever suits their fancy for whichever meal they
want. Rather bring asked “What sounds good for lunch today, Honey?” a husband
is more likely to hear “We’re out of meat so it’s just rice today…” There will be no stopping for a quick tie-me-over snack until I get done with errands. No
Happy Hour at Sonic. Lunch dates will be difficult at best, disastrous at
worst. No stops for fast food as I’m out and about. That may be the hardest
part of it all… I actually have to plan ahead… *face palm*
My very first day of this whole thing will see me gone all
day long working a craft fair to try to raise money to feed the poor in third
world countries. It will be symbolically perfect and incredibly difficult as a
first day! Planning ahead, in this case, is going to mean cooking up a chicken
a day in advance and probably skipping breakfast all together (horrors!). It
works great, though, since my little brother, who is helping with the booth,
will get to eat the provided lunch for me. Perfect!
Besides the loss of options during this month, I’m
personally adding that I will not simply eat whenever the mood hits me. I am a
terrible ‘muncher’. I don’t eat exorbitantly large portions (by America’s
standard that is…) but I snack throughout the day. Hunger hits? I’ll go find
something to munch. Boredom strikes? Hand-to-mouth movements are great to
diminish that feeling. I’m not overweight or an emotional eater… but I don’t
keep eating to meal times. Just one more sign of the privileged place I’m in. I
actually remember the first time I had hunger pains and didn't know what they
were. It’s disgusting to me that I actually felt those pangs and wondered if I
was getting sick. No wonder I can’t identify with the hungry of the world!
But in February that ends. Ignorance and apathy have had
their time. It’s knowledge and empathy’s turn.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
The Justice Factor
The first chapter of Isaiah has been
very influential in my thought process of late. I see in it a reflection of the
mainstream church of America... where sacrifices and festivals and offerings
abound but the key concerns of our God remain absent. I will let the Word speak
for itself here in this short segment...
'Hear the word of the Lord, you rulers of Sodom! Give ear to the teaching of our God, you people of Gomorrah! "What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices?" says the Lord; "I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats. When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts? Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations- I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my sould hates; they have become a burden to me; I am wearing of bearing them. When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord: "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.'
It would seem that, rather than the gathering together and 'trampling of [His] courts' for worship, God is more concerned by what He proposes in verses 16 and 17. Half of it is ceasing from the evil we do. The other half is doing good to those who need us.
The phrase "seek justice" is growing on me, becoming more and more important to me... In studying it, I am finding that it means so much more than I had previously thought. My idea of biblical justice has been simply to make sure that the bad guys get their just deserts, but that's only a small part of it.
Rather than try to put it into words of my own, I will instead direct you to an article that does the job well already. Read and seek to understand the depth of bibilical justice and the implications of scriptures like James 4:17, which says that "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins".
'Hear the word of the Lord, you rulers of Sodom! Give ear to the teaching of our God, you people of Gomorrah! "What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices?" says the Lord; "I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats. When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts? Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations- I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my sould hates; they have become a burden to me; I am wearing of bearing them. When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord: "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.'
It would seem that, rather than the gathering together and 'trampling of [His] courts' for worship, God is more concerned by what He proposes in verses 16 and 17. Half of it is ceasing from the evil we do. The other half is doing good to those who need us.
The phrase "seek justice" is growing on me, becoming more and more important to me... In studying it, I am finding that it means so much more than I had previously thought. My idea of biblical justice has been simply to make sure that the bad guys get their just deserts, but that's only a small part of it.
Rather than try to put it into words of my own, I will instead direct you to an article that does the job well already. Read and seek to understand the depth of bibilical justice and the implications of scriptures like James 4:17, which says that "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins".
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/what-biblical-justice
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The 'Why'
I am a couple of short weeks away from the planned launch of
the ‘7’ challenge. And I am so beyond thankful for the fact that I won’t be
doing this alone! Several of my old friends, my mom, and my sister are all
getting together to discuss our first month’s challenge and how we plan to cope
with the impossible task of living off of only seven foods for an entire month.
So far, I’ve heard chocolate, lasagna, and enchiladas mentioned as candidates
for this fast. Oh, and Reese’s. I’m going to love these women!
As the start continues to draw nearer, the longevity of this
commitment is beginning to sink in… seven months of anything is a challenge. Seven
months of fasting and making yourself uncomfortable will be much more so.
Knowing this, I’ve decided that I should write this down… the ‘Why’ behind what
I’m doing. I’m sure I’ll hear that question from others as well, especially
when they’ve seen me in the same outfit twelve times in as many days during
month two.
The more I think about all that I have, the more that I
recognize the fact that I am rich, far more than I used to think. The practice
of comparison can be a very convenient practice… as long as you compare
yourself to the appropriate group. This generally means comparing with the better when you wish to feel humble and to the worse when you wish to feel
right. In comparing myself to the rich and famous I feel quite average. But
turn that coin over and compare myself to the poor and destitute and I realize my true status. And realizing my true status continues to grow a
concern in my soul about the words of my Lord that I am not taking to heart.
Greed, consumerism, and materialism have taken hold in my
heart. The sad part is that I have lived so long in a culture full of people in the same
boat as me that I didn’t even recognize it. Even now it takes intentional,
mental correction on a regular basis to remind me of my plight. Because of my
surroundings, I know that these are not going to be easy traits to defeat. Drop
me in the middle of Uganda and it might take a couple of weeks to lose all
thought for anything but the necessities of life. Leave me here and I can’t go
anywhere without wishing for more. I will not, unfortunately, grow out of them
or pass this phase. It will only be through intentional, strategic battles that
these three wars be won.
I know I’ll be considered crazy as I do these challenges.
People will think I’m weird or misjudge my intentions. Some will be intrigued
by it but afraid to try it themselves. Others will shrug their shoulders and go
on about their business, never able to care less. But I hope that some will be
pricked in their souls and feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit and deal with this
grievous blind spot so many of us struggle with. Yet, even if no one else is
affected by it… I hope to gain a vast amount of ground in my own life.
My reasons are…
1)
Repentance
2)
Growth
3)
Witness
May those three reasons be my solid ground when the going
gets rough… and I’m really craving fajitas.
Friday, January 3, 2014
These Are the Faces
These are the faces that will steal your heart and haunt your dreams long after you've returned home after a mission over seas. They are the poorest I've ever met... They are the happiest I've ever met. These people proved to my 18-yr-old mind that joy is not indelibly connected to possessions. And you know what? They are dying every day because of hunger. They die due to lack of clean water and inability to get to or afford health care and medicine. They die from preventable diseases and exposure. They die while I stay connected to my luxuries.
According to The Human Development Report from Global Issues, 1 in 3 children in the world live without adequate shelter. 1 in 5 don't have access to clean drinking water. 22,000 will die today due to poverty.
50% of the world lives on less than $2.50 a day. 80% live on less than $10.
And we don't bat an eye spending $20+ on a single meal, much less on an entire day.
What's worse is that we have the nerve to say things like "I wish I were rich," or "If only we weren't so poor". Here's a news flash... You are rich. You're not poor. My guess is that you're reading this on your own personal computer or phone. You've likely already had two full meals and maybe a snack today. You've consumed an adequate amount of clean water, chilled to your liking. You will sleep in a bed tonight covered in blankets in a climate controlled home. If you are worrying at all over financial problems, it's probably wondering if you will have to cut back on luxuries or downsize your home... not whether or not your children had enough to eat this evening to last them to the next 'meal'.
We are rich, my friends. Let that sink in. Embrace it. Own the truth that applies to you.
We like to say things about how the world would be a better place if the 'rich' would just be generous with their blessings. At least I do! I see sportsmen and actors being paid ridiculous amounts of money and wish they would do good with it instead of squandering it on meaningless things. But HELLO, Jessica! I have an exorbitant amount of money of my own and spend it on frivolous things too.
As I write this, hoping to convince you of your prosperity, I know that I haven't fully embraced it myself. The challenges that I have accepted for this year are designed to open the eyes of my heart to what my heart already knows... I am filthy stinking rich. I need to read the words of Jesus with that understanding. And I need to take responsibility for the way I use the assets He has given me.
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