The Last Week

I have 5 more days left to stuff my face with all the goodies my heart desires. Right now I’m munching on buffalo jerky. I will be having a Dr. Pepper with my lunch. And Shepherd’s Pie is on the menu for the evening meal today.

In other words… next week is going to be tough.

I’ll be honest… this month seemed like it would be one of the simpler ones for me. I’m really, truly, not that high maintenance when it comes to food. If I were only cooking for myself, if I were single and living in an apartment somewhere, I’d be the kind to fix a pot of chili on Monday and eat it all week long. Eating the same thing over and over again doesn't really seem like a big deal to me. BUT… making a dish out of only 7 ingredients and 0 spices is going to be a different story. I’ll admit it… Now that it’s right in front of me I am realizing that this could be more difficult than I originally anticipated.

Over the years I've been to 3 different countries for mission trips. In all 3 of those the food options were comparatively limited. In Monterrey, Mexico every single breakfast (except the one when the Americans treated them with pancakes) we had eggs, refried beans, and tortillas. In Lilongwe, Malawi and Arusha, Tanzania we had rice and an unidentified meat in its natural juices for every meal during the day, except for when we were treated to fried grasshoppers. In other words, this challenge has, at its heart, the goal of being able to identify with the poorest of the world in their inability to have whatever suits their fancy for whichever meal they want. Rather bring asked “What sounds good for lunch today, Honey?” a husband is more likely to hear “We’re out of meat so it’s just rice today…” There will be no stopping for a quick tie-me-over snack until I get done with errands. No Happy Hour at Sonic. Lunch dates will be difficult at best, disastrous at worst. No stops for fast food as I’m out and about. That may be the hardest part of it all… I actually have to plan ahead… *face palm*

My very first day of this whole thing will see me gone all day long working a craft fair to try to raise money to feed the poor in third world countries. It will be symbolically perfect and incredibly difficult as a first day! Planning ahead, in this case, is going to mean cooking up a chicken a day in advance and probably skipping breakfast all together (horrors!). It works great, though, since my little brother, who is helping with the booth, will get to eat the provided lunch for me. Perfect!

Besides the loss of options during this month, I’m personally adding that I will not simply eat whenever the mood hits me. I am a terrible ‘muncher’. I don’t eat exorbitantly large portions (by America’s standard that is…) but I snack throughout the day. Hunger hits? I’ll go find something to munch. Boredom strikes? Hand-to-mouth movements are great to diminish that feeling. I’m not overweight or an emotional eater… but I don’t keep eating to meal times. Just one more sign of the privileged place I’m in. I actually remember the first time I had hunger pains and didn't know what they were. It’s disgusting to me that I actually felt those pangs and wondered if I was getting sick. No wonder I can’t identify with the hungry of the world!

But in February that ends. Ignorance and apathy have had their time. It’s knowledge and empathy’s turn.

The Justice Factor

The first chapter of Isaiah has been very influential in my thought process of late. I see in it a reflection of the mainstream church of America... where sacrifices and festivals and offerings abound but the key concerns of our God remain absent. I will let the Word speak for itself here in this short segment...

'Hear the word of the Lord, you rulers of Sodom! Give ear to the teaching of our God, you people of Gomorrah! "What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices?" says the Lord; "I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats. When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts? Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations- I cannot endure iniquity and the solemn assembly. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my sould hates; they have become a burden to me; I am wearing of bearing them. When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause. Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord: "though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.'

It would seem that, rather than the gathering together and 'trampling of [His] courts' for worship, God is more concerned by what He proposes in verses 16 and 17. Half of it is ceasing from the evil we do. The other half is doing good to those who need us.

The phrase "seek justice" is growing on me, becoming more and more important to me... In studying it, I am finding that it means so much more than I had previously thought. My idea of biblical justice has been simply to make sure that the bad guys get their just deserts, but that's only a small part of it.

Rather than try to put it into words of my own, I will instead direct you to an article that does the job well already. Read and seek to understand the depth of bibilical justice and the implications of scriptures like James 4:17, which says that "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, sins".

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/practical-faith/what-biblical-justice

The 'Why'

I am a couple of short weeks away from the planned launch of the ‘7’ challenge. And I am so beyond thankful for the fact that I won’t be doing this alone! Several of my old friends, my mom, and my sister are all getting together to discuss our first month’s challenge and how we plan to cope with the impossible task of living off of only seven foods for an entire month. So far, I’ve heard chocolate, lasagna, and enchiladas mentioned as candidates for this fast. Oh, and Reese’s. I’m going to love these women!

As the start continues to draw nearer, the longevity of this commitment is beginning to sink in… seven months of anything is a challenge. Seven months of fasting and making yourself uncomfortable will be much more so. Knowing this, I’ve decided that I should write this down… the ‘Why’ behind what I’m doing. I’m sure I’ll hear that question from others as well, especially when they’ve seen me in the same outfit twelve times in as many days during month two.

The more I think about all that I have, the more that I recognize the fact that I am rich, far more than I used to think. The practice of comparison can be a very convenient practice… as long as you compare yourself to the appropriate group. This generally means comparing with the better when you wish to feel humble and to the worse when you wish to feel right. In comparing myself to the rich and famous I feel quite average. But turn that coin over and compare myself to the poor and destitute and I realize my true status. And realizing my true status continues to grow a concern in my soul about the words of my Lord that I am not taking to heart.

Greed, consumerism, and materialism have taken hold in my heart. The sad part is that I have lived so long in a culture full of people in the same boat as me that I didn’t even recognize it. Even now it takes intentional, mental correction on a regular basis to remind me of my plight. Because of my surroundings, I know that these are not going to be easy traits to defeat. Drop me in the middle of Uganda and it might take a couple of weeks to lose all thought for anything but the necessities of life. Leave me here and I can’t go anywhere without wishing for more. I will not, unfortunately, grow out of them or pass this phase. It will only be through intentional, strategic battles that these three wars be won.

I know I’ll be considered crazy as I do these challenges. People will think I’m weird or misjudge my intentions. Some will be intrigued by it but afraid to try it themselves. Others will shrug their shoulders and go on about their business, never able to care less. But I hope that some will be pricked in their souls and feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit and deal with this grievous blind spot so many of us struggle with. Yet, even if no one else is affected by it… I hope to gain a vast amount of ground in my own life.

My reasons are…

1)      Repentance

2)      Growth

3)      Witness

May those three reasons be my solid ground when the going gets rough… and I’m really craving fajitas.

These Are the Faces

These are the faces that will steal your heart and haunt your dreams long after you've returned home after a mission over seas. They are the poorest I've ever met... They are the happiest I've ever met. These people proved to my 18-yr-old mind that joy is not indelibly connected to possessions. And you know what? They are dying every day because of hunger. They die due to lack of clean water and inability to get to or afford health care and medicine. They die from preventable diseases and exposure. They die while I stay connected to my luxuries.

According to The Human Development Report from Global Issues, 1 in 3 children in the world live without adequate shelter. 1 in 5 don't have access to clean drinking water. 22,000 will die today due to poverty.

50% of the world lives on less than $2.50 a day. 80% live on less than $10. 

And we don't bat an eye spending $20+ on a single meal, much less on an entire day. 

What's worse is that we have the nerve to say things like "I wish I were rich," or "If only we weren't so poor". Here's a news flash... You are rich. You're not poor. My guess is that you're reading this on your own personal computer or phone. You've likely already had two full meals and maybe a snack today. You've consumed an adequate amount of clean water, chilled to your liking. You will sleep in a bed tonight covered in blankets in a climate controlled home. If you are worrying at all over financial problems, it's probably wondering if you will have to cut back on luxuries or downsize your home... not whether or not your children had enough to eat this evening to last them to the next 'meal'. 

We are rich, my friends. Let that sink in. Embrace it. Own the truth that applies to you. 

We like to say things about how the world would be a better place if the 'rich' would just be generous with their blessings. At least I do! I see sportsmen and actors being paid ridiculous amounts of money and wish they would do good with it instead of squandering it on meaningless things. But HELLO, Jessica! I have an exorbitant amount of money of my own and spend it on frivolous things too. 

As I write this, hoping to convince you of your prosperity, I know that I haven't fully embraced it myself. The challenges that I have accepted for this year are designed to open the eyes of my heart to what my heart already knows... I am filthy stinking rich. I need to read the words of Jesus with that understanding. And I need to take responsibility for the way I use the assets He has given me. 

This Is Me...

I’m torn by some of my readings of this year. Broken over issues the Spirit has revealed to me. Devestated by the suffering my eyes are slowly being opened to. Sickened by my own disregard to those who are in its grasp.

In the last year I successfully read my way through David Platt’s ‘Radical’, Kyle Idleman’s ‘Not a Fan’, James MacDonald’s ‘Vertical Church’, Mark Batterson’s ‘Primal’ and Jen Hatmaker’s ‘7’. The Word of the Lord in James, the first three chapters of Revelation, various portions of the prophets, plus the ‘pulling no punches’ red letters of Jesus have pricked my heart. First I tried to ignore it but now I am learning to listen to and fully embrace it. My heart is hurting for my country and, more specifically, those within it who believe they are on the path to life; like me.

Mark 10 tells the story of the rich young ruler’s encounter with Jesus. After explaining all the good things he has done he is confronted with one glaring blind spot. His greed. And that one spot was one he wasn’t willing to turn away from. As he turned to leave, Jesus spoke words that ought to strike fear in almost every American heart. “How difficult it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken that passage and used it in a lesson. I’ve urged youth to give it all (or at least be willing to give it all… because who are we kidding? We always have a mental asterisk by these verses that says ‘Jesus isn’t telling everyone to sell what they have and give to the poor… but He might’.) Usually, these lessons are supplemented with quotes from the afore mentioned books encouraging radical sacrifice and living.

Then I go home and spend my Sunday afternoon sitting on my soft couch watching t.v. with my husband in our new home, stuffing my face from any of the readily available food choices from my pantry and feeling good about myself because I did a good job of ‘not watering down the gospel’. I don’t want to make fake, wimpy followers of Christ.

But all along there’s been a tension. Frustration has been growing and for awhile I laid it on other people’s shoulders. I blamed the state of the church, this fat and sassy American Christianity that tends to think they have it all figured out but which does so little true good in the world. And then the Spirit spoke to me. “You are the church,” He said. “You are the problem. You are right to grieve over others… but you can only act to change your own life.”

This is me… tired of reading about radicalism and feeling inspired but doing nothing. This is me... tired of wanting to do something and not knowing how. This is me… tired of dreaming about things changing and then going on about my life as normal because I’m afraid of change. This is me… the average, American, church-going small town girl with a smoldering determination to go against the flow.

And finally… this is me with a plan.

This will be a year of fasting, following the model given by Hatmaker in ‘7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess’. It will be a year of giving, following as the Lord leads and investing my efforts to raise money for the revealed causes. It will be a year of learning as I study new issues and open my mind to consider the things so often brushed under the rug. It will be a year of self-examination and discomfort as I push out of my comfort zone. And hopefully, it will yield a harvest of growth in my spiritual life, contentment, joy, and purpose that I have yet to experience in my blessed life. 

Disagree in Love

We live in a world full of people who disagree with each other. Just ask a couple of people what the Trinity is and you'll understand. Walk a little bit further along and ask some more what they think the role of government is. Go on and ask a few more about the meaning of life. Chances are, you'll disagree with some of their responses, they'll disagree with your ideology and be set against each other's answers as well. That's because our backgrounds, upbringings, and training make for a plethora of differences of opinions.

Now, I'm the last one to just sit back and let everyone disagree and say "Oh, that's okay! We can all just believe what we want to." There is such a thing as ultimate truth. You can't claim otherwise without making a claim to an ultimate truth! But I've learned first-hand that there is a way to disagree and a way that is absolutely unacceptable for someone like myself, who wants to live a life worthy of my calling in Christ Jesus, to do it. The best way to learn how to treat someone with whom you disagree is to be treated both well and abusively by those who disagree with you.

Without disclosing names or occasions, I can say that I have a much firmer finger over my lips after this past week. A multitude of hateful words directed at you will work wonders to make you second-check your own words before they leave either your lips or finger tips. Disagreeing is a part of life in this fallen world, I'm afraid. But brothers and sisters, if we must disagree can we at least do so in a gentle and loving way, with words that are seasoned with grace? Since having been on the receiving end of thoughtless words, I fully intend to only publicly disagree after asking these questions of my words.

1) Am I, in any way, intentionally or not, calling into question the character of the one with whom I disagree? Am I casting doubt on his motives, of which I can have no real knowledge?

2) Am I bringing in unrelated issues in order to 'stock up' with verbal ammunition? Is my disagreement fueled by past hurt that has not be resolved?

3) Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? Is this an issue of morality or is it something that is biblically left up to personal conviction and discernment?

4) Am I talking about this with others, attacking the one with whom I disagree in order to receive affirmation in my stance?

5) Am I, in my discussions, writings, or publishings, taking my opponent's personal life and twisting it to make my own position seem more viable?

Did you know that it's okay to agree to disagree about things? That doesn't mean that we're both right... but the world is not going to end simply because you don't see things my way. Because of that simple fact, besides the direct command to treat you the way I wish I were treated, I will not make issues out of things that are not issues. I will not call your character into question, because love believes the best of people. I will not twist the facts to gain a following and I will not spend my time seeking affirmation from others by attacking you. Your personal life will not be twisted, have jokes made about it, or be held up to be laughed at by others because I know that I really have no clue what I'm talking about when I talk about your life.

I will speak the truth.... Oh yes, I will speak the truth! But I will speak it in love.

Pity Me!

I used to love this line of evangelism. “If you’re wrong and I’m right, wouldn’t you want to know? Your being wrong lands you in hell! But if you’re right and I’m wrong, what does it matter? I’ve lived a good life, been blessed... so why not error on the safe side?” It’s a good, solid, easy-to-understand, common sense approach, don’t you agree?

But there’s only one problem with it, and I’m still working through this so bear with me here.

Should we be able to say it like that? With that kind of nonchalance? I mean, read between the lines here. Let me paraphrase.

“If you’re right and I’m wrong, what does it matter? I’ve got all I need, I don’t have to give up anything, I’m not missing out, I’m doing everything I want and nothing I don’t, so what would I change?”

When writing to the Corinthian church, the apostle Paul dealt with the debate of the dead being raised at the second coming and a life beyond this physical death. He said, “For if the dead are not raised then not even Christ has been raised; and if Christ has not been raised your faith is worthless! You are still in your sins! And those who have died believing in Christ have truly perished. If we have hoped in Christ just for this life, we are of all men most to be pitied!”

Think of what the early church endured for the sake of their belief in Christ. Torture, imprisonment, disdain, discrimination, exile... hardships that we, as modern American Christians have only read about in Foxe’s Book of Martyrs. That kind of Christian faith makes sense of Paul’s exclamation that “we are of all men most to be pitied!” No one willingly endured such a life for no reason. If these were beliefs built on falsehoods they wanted to know. They weren’t going to go through all of that nonsense if this God was a fake! It was truth they were seeking; truth would get their utmost devotion and nothing else could vie for it at all.

They were not settling for a ‘good life’ filled with ‘blessings’, but I’m afraid that I am. The fact that that so-called evangelism line now bothers me is, I hope, a good sign. But the question remains... how would I live were I to find out that my faith was built entirely on falsehoods and I was able to come to grips with that reality. Please, fellow Christians take this question in theory! Obviously, with the Holy Spirit’s indwelling presence we know that our nature is being transformed and, depending on how much you have grown in Him, the habits He has worked so hard to form in you would be hard to break. But would you spend your money differently if you knew that there wasn’t a God who cared about your fellow man? Would you do something else with your time if you came to the realization that there wasn’t a coming kingdom you were trying to advance? Would there be things you would or would not do, places you would or would not go, words you would or would not say if you knew that there wasn’t an all-seeing, all-knowing judge whom you would one day have to face? We who have been enlightened understand that God’s ways are best... but if there is no God, then the ways we learned to be best are just ways... why not try someone else’s idea of ‘good’?

So the challenge for us is this... can we say, with Paul, “If wrong, then I am of all men most to be pitied! I’d never live like this if I didn’t believe for sure that God is real and this is His will!” I think our answer would be a good indication of our relationship status with our Creator.