We live in a world full of people who disagree with each other. Just ask a couple of people what the Trinity is and you'll understand. Walk a little bit further along and ask some more what they think the role of government is. Go on and ask a few more about the meaning of life. Chances are, you'll disagree with some of their responses, they'll disagree with your ideology and be set against each other's answers as well. That's because our backgrounds, upbringings, and training make for a plethora of differences of opinions.
Now, I'm the last one to just sit back and let everyone disagree and say "Oh, that's okay! We can all just believe what we want to." There is such a thing as ultimate truth. You can't claim otherwise without making a claim to an ultimate truth! But I've learned first-hand that there is a way to disagree and a way that is absolutely unacceptable for someone like myself, who wants to live a life worthy of my calling in Christ Jesus, to do it. The best way to learn how to treat someone with whom you disagree is to be treated both well and abusively by those who disagree with you.
Without disclosing names or occasions, I can say that I have a much firmer finger over my lips after this past week. A multitude of hateful words directed at you will work wonders to make you second-check your own words before they leave either your lips or finger tips. Disagreeing is a part of life in this fallen world, I'm afraid. But brothers and sisters, if we must disagree can we at least do so in a gentle and loving way, with words that are seasoned with grace? Since having been on the receiving end of thoughtless words, I fully intend to only publicly disagree after asking these questions of my words.
1) Am I, in any way, intentionally or not, calling into question the character of the one with whom I disagree? Am I casting doubt on his motives, of which I can have no real knowledge?
2) Am I bringing in unrelated issues in order to 'stock up' with verbal ammunition? Is my disagreement fueled by past hurt that has not be resolved?
3) Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? Is this an issue of morality or is it something that is biblically left up to personal conviction and discernment?
4) Am I talking about this with others, attacking the one with whom I disagree in order to receive affirmation in my stance?
5) Am I, in my discussions, writings, or publishings, taking my opponent's personal life and twisting it to make my own position seem more viable?
Did you know that it's okay to agree to disagree about things? That doesn't mean that we're both right... but the world is not going to end simply because you don't see things my way. Because of that simple fact, besides the direct command to treat you the way I wish I were treated, I will not make issues out of things that are not issues. I will not call your character into question, because love believes the best of people. I will not twist the facts to gain a following and I will not spend my time seeking affirmation from others by attacking you. Your personal life will not be twisted, have jokes made about it, or be held up to be laughed at by others because I know that I really have no clue what I'm talking about when I talk about your life.
I will speak the truth.... Oh yes, I will speak the truth! But I will speak it in love.
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