Television, E-mail, Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest, texting, the radio, iTunes, movies, Snapchat, blogs, news, advertisements, forums...
Guys, it's media month. And it starts tomorrow.
I am so dragging my feet on this one. I have this attitude of "This is going to S.T.I.N.K." and I need to stop it. My focus needs to shift from how much I'm going to miss social media and onto how much more I'll be able to learn new things, really talk with people, and hear from God. There is going to be an amazing, growing, freeing side of this month. For the first few weeks it will likely be overshadowed by the void created by eliminating some of the biggest distractions I dabble in on a moment-by-moment basis. Who knows... it might even take an extension of this month's challenge to see some real, lasting fruit. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. :)
For now, I'm going to spend this afternoon saying good-bye to my 'friends' on Facebook (of whom I really only see a minute percentage...), delete apps (because if they're there I WILL click into them before I realize what I'm doing...), and listen to all the music I can stand. And I'm describing what this month will look like so you know what it's about and I can come back and remind myself what it's about.
My parents were always fairly strict when it came to media usage. I remember being limited to 30 minutes of screen time of any kind on a daily basis and some periods of only using electronics on the weekends. It fluctuated sometimes, but in general we didn't use it a lot. I didn't have a Facebook profile until I was eighteen and until then my computer time was generally used to write stories for my own enjoyment. With all that in consideration I step back and see how much I have been ensnared in the small space of 5 years.
I check Facebook multiple times a day... not out of duty but out of boredom. I Snapchat almost daily and Instagram as much, sometimes for the same reason but sometimes out of a need to share my world with people across the country. The television is on every day for several hours, sometimes being actively watched and sometimes just creating background noise. If I don't know something, Google is a ready and available resource without which it seems I can no longer live. How in the world did I find the nearest Sonic without you, smart phone and 3G?!
The results of this constant stimulation is described in the corresponding chapter in "7". It literally changes the way our minds work; we're restless, can't focus, and jump at the chance to change our trajectory when our phone dings with a notification. Besides this negative affect I see hints of another issue... the need for approval and affirmation from people I don't even really know. How am I going to make it an entire month with out a single 'like', 'share', or 'comment'? Where will I get my confidence when I can't even 'post' that witty one-liner I came up with all on my own? My already innate struggle with fear of man is fed by my ability to foster cheers from 744 people on an online profile whose knowledge of me, my personality, and my beliefs is 90% or more based only on what I post. More on both of those, I'm sure, in future posts.
But this month the status quo will be challenged. I am eliminating or severely minimizing 7 forms of media.
- Television
This will be entirely eliminated when I'm home alone, and avoided when Josh is home with me. He may still watch in the evenings, but unless I'm intentionally spending time with him in front of it I will spend that time either in another room working on something, reading, or outside.
- Internet
No browsing news pages, blogs, or recipe sights. I have newspapers, books, and cookbooks to keep me informed, enlightened, and fed well. I can access the internet to use my maps app when I'm out and about and as we continue to research adoption I will need to use it to learn what I need to learn.
-Social Media
All of it. Period. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest, Snapchat... Every app will be deleted tonight. The only posts my friends will see will be from external sources, either my Bible app or from this blog. And I will have no idea what they think of those posts.
- Radio
Really, that should read 'Music', because it's all going. No Pandora, no Air1, no iTunes. I will be driving in silence, exercising in silence, and cleaning in silence.
- Texting
All chit-chat texts will be eliminated... this is a business only month. If I want to chat I can call.
- Email
This is necessary at this time of year... I'm coordinating a campaign project and need to contact several people at once. But I'm checking it only once a day instead of every few hours. Nothing communicated by email is that important.
- Gaming
At first this seems like a non-issue. Yes, I have a few games on my phone but it's literally been months since I last opened them. BUT... with Facebook going bye-bye I see the potential for games to become a fall back. So they're banned before they get started.
So pretty much going cold turkey here... It will be interesting to see how I change. Pray for me. :)
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Opportunities Abound
As this month comes to an end (and I continue to purge my household...because I have to confess that I was so incredibly busy these past two weeks that I failed to complete the expected tally marks on my sheet of paper sitting by my pile of stuff!), the overwhelming lesson in it for me has been this.
There are opportunities out there.
I wrote last time about the Hope House shelter in Shawnee, OK where up to 12 kids at a time are placed when there are no foster care homes available for them. It is my hope to be able to write next time about our Council outing to one of a couple of locations in Oklahoma City helping with the homeless or inner city ministry. And this past Monday, Amy and I got to catch a glimpse into the heart of another ministry in Shawnee, Project:Safe.
My friends inspire me... I spent all morning and part of the afternoon at Amy's house working on formatting a cookbook. She's been collecting recipes and typing them out for I-don't-know-how-long so it can get printed and bound and given to the clients of our church's food pantry by the one year anniversary of the storms that changed our community forever. She'll poo-poo this post and say that it was nothing, but I know better. So this is your shout-out, Amy ;) I can't wait to see it on paper! My part of the project was to collect some of the stories that demonstrated God's incredible provision for the work He was doing in the storm's aftermath; talk about a humbling and invigorating experience! Our God is ALIVE, my friends! If anyone would like me to send along those stories just let me know! It will build your faith.
After a late lunch, we headed toward town to visit this Project:Safe we had heard about. Honestly, we had tried to kill two birds with one stone and run by it when we were in town visiting Hope House but we had been unable to find it. But a few days later I had happened upon it as I drove through town, saw the sign, and did a 'U' to go back and see what their hours were. Now we were back, and the young woman who came out to help us unload gave us some wonderful insight into the mission and the heart behind the work being done there.
Project:Safe is a battered women's shelter that seeks to provide everything a woman might need when she flees from an abusive situation. They have beds for 15, some in a family room setup and some grouped for singles to use. They feed them all and have someone there at the shelter 24/7 to be available for emotional support, help with children, or whatever else might be needed by the women. Obviously, it's in a confidential location... where Amy and I visited was the office and what they hope will help to fund the operation - a thrift store. The things we brought that day went straight into the inventory of the shop, which is currently only being opened on an occasional weekend due to it's newness, lack of volunteer help, and disorganization. Right now it's like a giant garage sale, but they hope to get it set up and operating on a regular store hours basis. When they do, they hope to be able to run it solely on volunteer power... just like they do everything else. Funding is never a sure-thing; most of it comes in the form of grants that are never guaranteed to be renewed, so having support in a self-sustaining form would be a weight off their minds. When we asked what we might be able to do to help them there were two responses.
The first was volunteering, of course, especially for when the store was up and running regularly. But even before then there is the opportunity to take part in getting the store to that place. And there are other things that, she said, the volunteer coordinator could tell us more about.
The second was donations. Big ticket items are always the first things to go when the store is open, things like furniture, bedding, and small appliances. Money, of course, is always helpful. But the thing that I wasn't expecting to hear was food. "Maybe do a food drive," she suggested. "That would be a big help." Cooking for fifteen women at a time can take a lot, she said. And she pointed out that many of the women they are helping were coming out of living conditions where they may or may not have been allowed food, or had been belittled or abused for eating. The freedom to eat could make them eat like it was the last time they had the chance. Sometimes you don't really know what people need until you ask. There's a little sub-lesson within the bigger one... Just ask what people need!
These community outreaches, plus the church's, plus the two we're tossing around working together on this next month just goes to show... opportunities are out there. I have to admit that when I was reading this chapter from Jen's perspective I was a tad underwhelmed. She lives in Austin, for crying out loud! Of course she has abundant outlets for service and donations! And where am I? Tribby, Oklahoma... And yet two of our discovered ministries are located in Shawnee, which is the nearest 'real' town to me. The city isn't far and my own church has a food pantry.
The truth of the matter is, there's work out there to do and places to do it if you're really interested. But it's not likely to come and stand right in front of you waiving bright flags in your face to get your attention. I never would have noticed Project:Safe's sign if I hadn't just spent 20 minutes wondering through downtown Shawnee looking for it! If you're busy complaining that there's not a good place to volunteer or get involved... may I make a suggestion?
It's time to stop complaining and start searching.
Because opportunities abound!
There are opportunities out there.
I wrote last time about the Hope House shelter in Shawnee, OK where up to 12 kids at a time are placed when there are no foster care homes available for them. It is my hope to be able to write next time about our Council outing to one of a couple of locations in Oklahoma City helping with the homeless or inner city ministry. And this past Monday, Amy and I got to catch a glimpse into the heart of another ministry in Shawnee, Project:Safe.
My friends inspire me... I spent all morning and part of the afternoon at Amy's house working on formatting a cookbook. She's been collecting recipes and typing them out for I-don't-know-how-long so it can get printed and bound and given to the clients of our church's food pantry by the one year anniversary of the storms that changed our community forever. She'll poo-poo this post and say that it was nothing, but I know better. So this is your shout-out, Amy ;) I can't wait to see it on paper! My part of the project was to collect some of the stories that demonstrated God's incredible provision for the work He was doing in the storm's aftermath; talk about a humbling and invigorating experience! Our God is ALIVE, my friends! If anyone would like me to send along those stories just let me know! It will build your faith.
After a late lunch, we headed toward town to visit this Project:Safe we had heard about. Honestly, we had tried to kill two birds with one stone and run by it when we were in town visiting Hope House but we had been unable to find it. But a few days later I had happened upon it as I drove through town, saw the sign, and did a 'U' to go back and see what their hours were. Now we were back, and the young woman who came out to help us unload gave us some wonderful insight into the mission and the heart behind the work being done there.
Project:Safe is a battered women's shelter that seeks to provide everything a woman might need when she flees from an abusive situation. They have beds for 15, some in a family room setup and some grouped for singles to use. They feed them all and have someone there at the shelter 24/7 to be available for emotional support, help with children, or whatever else might be needed by the women. Obviously, it's in a confidential location... where Amy and I visited was the office and what they hope will help to fund the operation - a thrift store. The things we brought that day went straight into the inventory of the shop, which is currently only being opened on an occasional weekend due to it's newness, lack of volunteer help, and disorganization. Right now it's like a giant garage sale, but they hope to get it set up and operating on a regular store hours basis. When they do, they hope to be able to run it solely on volunteer power... just like they do everything else. Funding is never a sure-thing; most of it comes in the form of grants that are never guaranteed to be renewed, so having support in a self-sustaining form would be a weight off their minds. When we asked what we might be able to do to help them there were two responses.
The first was volunteering, of course, especially for when the store was up and running regularly. But even before then there is the opportunity to take part in getting the store to that place. And there are other things that, she said, the volunteer coordinator could tell us more about.
The second was donations. Big ticket items are always the first things to go when the store is open, things like furniture, bedding, and small appliances. Money, of course, is always helpful. But the thing that I wasn't expecting to hear was food. "Maybe do a food drive," she suggested. "That would be a big help." Cooking for fifteen women at a time can take a lot, she said. And she pointed out that many of the women they are helping were coming out of living conditions where they may or may not have been allowed food, or had been belittled or abused for eating. The freedom to eat could make them eat like it was the last time they had the chance. Sometimes you don't really know what people need until you ask. There's a little sub-lesson within the bigger one... Just ask what people need!
These community outreaches, plus the church's, plus the two we're tossing around working together on this next month just goes to show... opportunities are out there. I have to admit that when I was reading this chapter from Jen's perspective I was a tad underwhelmed. She lives in Austin, for crying out loud! Of course she has abundant outlets for service and donations! And where am I? Tribby, Oklahoma... And yet two of our discovered ministries are located in Shawnee, which is the nearest 'real' town to me. The city isn't far and my own church has a food pantry.
The truth of the matter is, there's work out there to do and places to do it if you're really interested. But it's not likely to come and stand right in front of you waiving bright flags in your face to get your attention. I never would have noticed Project:Safe's sign if I hadn't just spent 20 minutes wondering through downtown Shawnee looking for it! If you're busy complaining that there's not a good place to volunteer or get involved... may I make a suggestion?
It's time to stop complaining and start searching.
Because opportunities abound!
Monday, April 21, 2014
The Messy Side of Giving
I think I've learned something else about myself in these past two challenges that is just now registering.
I don't like writing until I have a cohesive thought with a logical conclusion on which to end.
Unfortunately, I haven't been having a lot of those recently. My thought process has been quite jumbled, and since I don't really think anyone would find it interesting to hear what I 'did' today versus what I 'thought' I end up just not writing. It's not fun to sit down and try to convey your convictions to the world when you've had little more than general convictions that have led to specific questions the answers to which you have yet to discover.
That's how I've felt lately... everything I do, every purchase I make, every plan I set in stone is suspect to my own conscience. One difficulty lies in feeling like it's a good thing to care for what I've been given (i.e. spending money at Lowe's to buy tools for upkeep and improvement) but knowing that many others are slapping mud on their walls to fill cracks. Another one is found in wanting to please and 'bless' people I love with things that involve monetary spending (i.e. buying birthday presents or spending money on doing fun things together) but mentally recognizing how much could be done with that same amount if given to a third-world family. It's probably a good thing, but I'm not necessarily liking it yet... And 'yet' is likely an unnecessary word, since I doubt that conviction is every a comfortable experience. I automatically go to the word 'balance' to give myself a goal... but at the same time I'm struggling with the idea that balance might not be a biblical principal.
So I have no answers! :) I'm still wrestling with all of this, and these first couple of weeks in Month 3 have felt like nothing more than Spring Cleaning up to this point. That is, however, about to change. In fact, the change has already started. This morning Amy and I, along with two of her girls, rode into town together (thank you, truck, for deciding not to start for me...) to drop some donations at the Hope House in Shawnee. Unfortunately, we didn't get to take a tour at the time. But the director who received our items was able to tell us a little about it and what the needs were.
The Hope House is a residential setting shelter for children in the foster care system waiting for foster homes to open up a place for them. There is a sever shortage of foster care homes in comparison to the amount of kids in the foster care needing a place to stay. So all of those kids that need a home but don't have one get to go stay in a residential center with about 10 other kids for possibly months at a time before being placed, or re-placed, in a foster or adoptive home.
In all honesty, 'stuff' was not really what they needed. Oh, there were some items that we had that he accepted. But he was glad that we had actually asked him to reject what they wouldn't use so he didn't have to sort it all and find another place to pass things too! No, what they really hurt for is people. They need personnel to work at the center while not expecting to make buckets of money (shortfalls in the state budget leads to budget cuts for them which leads to pay cuts for workers). They need people to sign up for foster care so fewer kids have to live in these homes. The need people to adopt so kids can have a forever home.
We have several other places we intend to visit this week and the entire Council is trying to find a time to join my sister's co-worker on his weekly visits to a downtown OKC bridge. It's this part of the month that I am most excited about... there is nothing emotionally moving about cleaning out my crowded cabinets and getting rid of my piles of excess. But I am anticipating a time of new growth as I get out of my comfort zone in these new places and learn about other needs... exploring the messy side of giving where you actually meet a need face-to-face, outside the walls of a clean, tidy church or organization, in the middle of another person's reality.
I don't like writing until I have a cohesive thought with a logical conclusion on which to end.
Unfortunately, I haven't been having a lot of those recently. My thought process has been quite jumbled, and since I don't really think anyone would find it interesting to hear what I 'did' today versus what I 'thought' I end up just not writing. It's not fun to sit down and try to convey your convictions to the world when you've had little more than general convictions that have led to specific questions the answers to which you have yet to discover.
That's how I've felt lately... everything I do, every purchase I make, every plan I set in stone is suspect to my own conscience. One difficulty lies in feeling like it's a good thing to care for what I've been given (i.e. spending money at Lowe's to buy tools for upkeep and improvement) but knowing that many others are slapping mud on their walls to fill cracks. Another one is found in wanting to please and 'bless' people I love with things that involve monetary spending (i.e. buying birthday presents or spending money on doing fun things together) but mentally recognizing how much could be done with that same amount if given to a third-world family. It's probably a good thing, but I'm not necessarily liking it yet... And 'yet' is likely an unnecessary word, since I doubt that conviction is every a comfortable experience. I automatically go to the word 'balance' to give myself a goal... but at the same time I'm struggling with the idea that balance might not be a biblical principal.
So I have no answers! :) I'm still wrestling with all of this, and these first couple of weeks in Month 3 have felt like nothing more than Spring Cleaning up to this point. That is, however, about to change. In fact, the change has already started. This morning Amy and I, along with two of her girls, rode into town together (thank you, truck, for deciding not to start for me...) to drop some donations at the Hope House in Shawnee. Unfortunately, we didn't get to take a tour at the time. But the director who received our items was able to tell us a little about it and what the needs were.
The Hope House is a residential setting shelter for children in the foster care system waiting for foster homes to open up a place for them. There is a sever shortage of foster care homes in comparison to the amount of kids in the foster care needing a place to stay. So all of those kids that need a home but don't have one get to go stay in a residential center with about 10 other kids for possibly months at a time before being placed, or re-placed, in a foster or adoptive home.
In all honesty, 'stuff' was not really what they needed. Oh, there were some items that we had that he accepted. But he was glad that we had actually asked him to reject what they wouldn't use so he didn't have to sort it all and find another place to pass things too! No, what they really hurt for is people. They need personnel to work at the center while not expecting to make buckets of money (shortfalls in the state budget leads to budget cuts for them which leads to pay cuts for workers). They need people to sign up for foster care so fewer kids have to live in these homes. The need people to adopt so kids can have a forever home.
We have several other places we intend to visit this week and the entire Council is trying to find a time to join my sister's co-worker on his weekly visits to a downtown OKC bridge. It's this part of the month that I am most excited about... there is nothing emotionally moving about cleaning out my crowded cabinets and getting rid of my piles of excess. But I am anticipating a time of new growth as I get out of my comfort zone in these new places and learn about other needs... exploring the messy side of giving where you actually meet a need face-to-face, outside the walls of a clean, tidy church or organization, in the middle of another person's reality.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Month 3: Possessions
I just realized how poorly I kept up with posting during Month 2... and I was so on top of it in Month 1! Really though, as expected, the clothes challenge wasn't nearly as big of a deal as the food was. Apparently I care more about what I eat than what I wear. Still trying to decide if that's a good thing or not... I DID, however, notice that by the end of the month, while I was still enjoying the simplicity involved in knowing exactly what I was going to wear before going to bed each night, I was also starting to feel a little frumpy. After a month of wear mystery stains were starting to pop up on my shirt and my shoes were getting dirtier and dirtier. It didn't exactly get to my self-esteem, per say, it just had me ready for the month to end.
Yesterday was the first day of wardrobe freedom and my clothes count skyrocketed. I woke up and got into my old favorite pair of jeans (I didn't choose those because they're not fit for public wear... stains of many colors and a non-fashion-inspired hole testify to the love I have for those jeans). Slipped into a new shirt, (yes... I did the unthinkable and actually got new clothes DURING this clothes challenge... but in my defense I spent literally next to nothing on them. Thank you for that mailer, JCPenny, I absolutely love $10 off $10 or more coupons!) and back into my favorite pair of shoes. After getting home from running some errands I changed into running shorts, a tank top, and tennis shoes. Then after a run and the temperature starting to drop I switched back into jeans and changed my shoes out for boots. I told you at the beginning that this is normal for me! ;)
But all that is behind me and the daily purge of this month's challenge is before me. The title of this post was probably pretty indicative of what the focus is for the next 4 weeks.
Stuff.
We all know we have too much of it. Some of us have storage containers rented out to hold the things we can't find a place for in our homes. Others of us have out buildings of our own to store the extra in. Most of us have at least several cabinets and closets full to overflowing. Every once in awhile we will all stand in the middle of a messy house and wonder where in the world it all came from. And then, (at least if you're me) we will go hit another garage sale, just because we can or we may miss out on a great deal for something we don't really need.
This month's challenge is two-fold for me. The first is getting rid of 7 items every day for an entire month. I expect the first two weeks to be pure bliss... I really do love to get rid of stuff I don't use or really like. Just ask my dad... I don't hang on to things. Much to his chagrin, if it doesn't get used or contribute in some way to my happiness then it either goes in the trash or the Goodwill pile. Yes, even if it was, at one time, given me by a family member. Hey, what they don't know won't hurt them, right? About the only things I've held on to for sentimental reasons are correspondences and accomplishments. Letters I keep and certificates I keep. Both are small and easy to stash away. I just don't connect people or memories to inanimate objects. *shrug* So with that in mind, I'm sure I will love minimizing the stuff I've accumulated over the years and getting rid of the piles that have slowly formed.
The last two weeks, however, could get tough. Because I don't keep things, I'm expecting to run out of things that I actually WANT to get rid of before I reach the end of this month. Which leads to getting rid of things I want to keep. Which will be a sacrifice. Which is kind of what this whole season of my life is about. Which I'm still not sure I'm going to like.
Anyways...
Since the point of this isn't just to Christianize a normal spring cleaning, we're supposed to abstain from simply dumping our rejects at the back door of the local thrift store where people like me go looking for a good deal. This is where the challenge and the beauty meet... We are challenged to actually find people who need these things we have to give and bless them, face-to-face. Passing it off to friends isn't acceptable. As Jen puts it, we need to stop focusing on blessing the blessed. Why give our stuff to people who already have too much stuff? No, that 2-piece business suit that I just put into my pile might fit my friend perfectly... but that girl in frumpy sweats and t-shirt on the side of the road with a cardboard sign? A good business suit might be exactly what she needs to be presentable enough to go have that job interview. Those shoes in my pile might look cute on my sister, or mom, or neighbor... but that barefoot woman walking back to her children under the bridge just passed her shoes off to her oldest daughter because hers finally fell apart. She is the one who truly needs them.
Over the next few days I am going to be looking into how we can best contact the people who truly need what we will all be getting rid of this month. I'm excited and daunted by the task ahead of us... I expect this month could be one of the most life changing ones in the whole series, simply because it will, Lord willing, put us in the presence of those with the greatest of needs. May the Lord use us in ways we aren't even imagining right now and open up a whole new world in the process!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Two Sides to Every Coin
What an overdue time of sitting down and writing... and I'm doing it in unsanctioned clothes as my DH whisks me off on a spontaneous adventure during which he has claimed the right to dictate what I wear. I haven't counted yet, but I think I have about 3 or 4 separate outfits for this little excursion, including high heels and a dress I consider to fall under the 'fancy' label. I'm thankful that I truly had no angst over agreeing to his heist of my project and my cohorts have been nothing but supportive of my embracing this opportunity. As my mom said, God does give us our husbands for balance!
With the realization that we are closing in on the halfway mark of this challenge comes the realization that it has been much, MUCH easier than the food month! The only real challenge comes with making sure I have clothes that are at least halfway clean when I need to leave the house. So far, the dress I picked out as my 7th item has been a lifesaver on that head. I wear it so infrequently that it's never dirty! The other problem I've faced is the shoe issue... I almost had a meltdown the other day when I stepped in the pottery clay that passes as dirt in our yard when I had on my flats. I mean, seriously... It was a Monday and had been a Monday in every sense of the term. Being a tad sleep deprived probably wasn't helping any. At the very least, I'm sure I got a glimpse into what it must feel like for that poor friend I'm trying to identify with to get the first stain/first rip/etc on their ONE nice thing. I ran inside and got the wet rag and stood over the trash can trying to restore them to their previous shiny state and still get out the door on schedule, slipping into my boots and carrying them to the car this time.
That evening I had a nice birthday supper with my sister-in-laws and got to catch up over some fresh Mediterranean food. As we laughed and groaned over each other's past few months I found myself asked once more what I was learning through this whole thing. It was easy to sum up the first month, but I found myself struggling at first to find some good, solid points that had come up in this one. Of course there was the obvious, "I found out I have too much stuff in my closet", but this month feels so much more complicated for some reason.
On the first day of this challenge I found myself working on something in the living room and, as I am wont to do, I had What Not To Wear playing in the background. Please, don't roll your eyes. I know reality tv is cheesy, but I actually liked that show one upon a time. It's gotten old, the timeline is precisely the same every single episode, and I have the rules memorized. But you have to understand that when I first got married I knew next to nothing about fashion and I learned a lot from Stacy and Clinton! So I guess you could say that there's a special place in my heart for that show. ;) But this episode was interesting in a new way because of the subject's story and how she ended up where she was.
Since I can't remember her name, I'll just call her Laura. Laura was a woman of about 30 and she got ambushed wearing baggy khaki slacks, a turtleneck sweater, and a misfitted, also khaki colored jacket. She was a business woman and her family, co-workers, and even boss were in on getting her nominated for the show. They had known her long enough to know her heart, her work ethic, and her passion for life. Their concern, as always, was that her lack of effort in the clothing department was holding her back in life and work. She jumped on the opportunity to go shopping, but soon became slightly more resistant as she went through the process of being lambasted for her wardrobe and chided for not putting forth more effort into her appearance. That's when we hear her back story.
It turns out that she was once an extremely stylish young lady. She actually said that she was a little too obsessed with fashion and fixated on her appearance to an extreme. But then she faced a life changing experience... she got caught in the crossfire of the genocide in Uganda. When she made it out alive the memories of what she had seen and experienced made all her fashionable clothes look pathetically frivolous in comparison. She started wearing whatever she had and never wasted money on her looks. Her priorities saw a 180... and it got her nominated for What Not To Wear. In two days time she spent over $6000 on a new wardrobe for herself. Throughout the shopping she struggled with the knowledge that she was spending so much. Stacy and Clinton argued that these clothes would help her affect the change she wanted to by making her more approachable and look as reputable as she actually was. She started to dust off her habits of dressing well and rediscovered the joy she found in feeling put together. Then she felt terrible when she thought of the genocide and how frivolous it all was. And she tried to find balance...
I sat there watching this unfold and felt the same tension I'm sure she was feeling because I understand both sides of the issue. I grew up caring very little about my appearance. My parents did an excellent job of making sure that their children's worth was not tied up in clothing, weight, or appearance of any kind and for that I'm grateful! But then I started hanging out with a group of people who knew how to dress. They NEVER made me feel like less of a person for my lack of skinny jeans and flats or cute scarves or any of it... But I started to wish that I knew how to put together an outfit like they could. More than a desire to look a certain way it was a desire for knowledge in the fashion department. So I learned. I experimented. I gave accessories a whirl and different colors and cuts and tried to start finding my own personal style instead of just picking pieces that covered me. And all my efforts at least doubled when my BF/soon-to-be-DH decided to get into the political realm and I realized that my life, and therefor my wardrobe, would be much more under the public's critical eye than my previous ranch hand laborer life had been. I started to find my niche in fashion and I liked it. Where I once hated clothes shopping I now enjoy it (in small quantities and only if successful). Yet, here I am learning about the evils of the fashion world from Jen. Yet, I know the truth of the other side of the coin as well.. that looking a certain way truly CAN give a platform from which to work to accomplish our goals.
In a perfect world, a Utopia where what we look like doesn't matter to anyone, fashion could be obsolete with no consequences. But I feel like in the real world it can't. I don't know... perhaps we need an army of brave pioneers who throw fashion out the window and staunchly face the music and do what needs done to change the norm we have now. Maybe it could actually make a difference. But I honestly don't see it. Personally, I see people throwing fashion out the window and eventually just making a new fashion. I'm looking at you, hipsters.
So... where does that leave me? Am I throwing out the premise of this chapter all together? Absolutely not. I see the premise of this chapter as being, like the premise of the book, simply fighting a consumeristic and excessive mentality. That's going to look different for you than it is for me. In fact, it will likely look different for me in 10 years than it does right now. Different people in different walks of life, different geological locations, and different callings will have different needs. There may come a day when looking put-together isn't necessary when I'm doing inner-city missions with under privileged kids and in that case I will probably need to re-evaluate my wardrobe. There may come a time when having 6 pairs of working jeans is rather ridiculous when I'm traveling with my aristocratic husband on his world-changing journeys and I have to find another pair of dress pants because I spilled coffee on my last one. But where I am right now? I know I will be culling through my clothes during month 3 because 331 items is too many for my needs and I KNOW that there are others out there who could use what I have. I will be simplifying while maintaining the 'put-togetherness' of my wardrobe. I won't be shopping just because I want to or because there's a sale. That's what I know for now... and there is still a half of a month for me to learn more. Honestly, I think I'd kind of pulled back a little psychologically and emotionally this month because of the overwhelming amount of angles from which I was trying to analyze this month. I'm going to try to be a little more thoughtful as I finish this month up.
With the realization that we are closing in on the halfway mark of this challenge comes the realization that it has been much, MUCH easier than the food month! The only real challenge comes with making sure I have clothes that are at least halfway clean when I need to leave the house. So far, the dress I picked out as my 7th item has been a lifesaver on that head. I wear it so infrequently that it's never dirty! The other problem I've faced is the shoe issue... I almost had a meltdown the other day when I stepped in the pottery clay that passes as dirt in our yard when I had on my flats. I mean, seriously... It was a Monday and had been a Monday in every sense of the term. Being a tad sleep deprived probably wasn't helping any. At the very least, I'm sure I got a glimpse into what it must feel like for that poor friend I'm trying to identify with to get the first stain/first rip/etc on their ONE nice thing. I ran inside and got the wet rag and stood over the trash can trying to restore them to their previous shiny state and still get out the door on schedule, slipping into my boots and carrying them to the car this time.
That evening I had a nice birthday supper with my sister-in-laws and got to catch up over some fresh Mediterranean food. As we laughed and groaned over each other's past few months I found myself asked once more what I was learning through this whole thing. It was easy to sum up the first month, but I found myself struggling at first to find some good, solid points that had come up in this one. Of course there was the obvious, "I found out I have too much stuff in my closet", but this month feels so much more complicated for some reason.
On the first day of this challenge I found myself working on something in the living room and, as I am wont to do, I had What Not To Wear playing in the background. Please, don't roll your eyes. I know reality tv is cheesy, but I actually liked that show one upon a time. It's gotten old, the timeline is precisely the same every single episode, and I have the rules memorized. But you have to understand that when I first got married I knew next to nothing about fashion and I learned a lot from Stacy and Clinton! So I guess you could say that there's a special place in my heart for that show. ;) But this episode was interesting in a new way because of the subject's story and how she ended up where she was.
Since I can't remember her name, I'll just call her Laura. Laura was a woman of about 30 and she got ambushed wearing baggy khaki slacks, a turtleneck sweater, and a misfitted, also khaki colored jacket. She was a business woman and her family, co-workers, and even boss were in on getting her nominated for the show. They had known her long enough to know her heart, her work ethic, and her passion for life. Their concern, as always, was that her lack of effort in the clothing department was holding her back in life and work. She jumped on the opportunity to go shopping, but soon became slightly more resistant as she went through the process of being lambasted for her wardrobe and chided for not putting forth more effort into her appearance. That's when we hear her back story.
It turns out that she was once an extremely stylish young lady. She actually said that she was a little too obsessed with fashion and fixated on her appearance to an extreme. But then she faced a life changing experience... she got caught in the crossfire of the genocide in Uganda. When she made it out alive the memories of what she had seen and experienced made all her fashionable clothes look pathetically frivolous in comparison. She started wearing whatever she had and never wasted money on her looks. Her priorities saw a 180... and it got her nominated for What Not To Wear. In two days time she spent over $6000 on a new wardrobe for herself. Throughout the shopping she struggled with the knowledge that she was spending so much. Stacy and Clinton argued that these clothes would help her affect the change she wanted to by making her more approachable and look as reputable as she actually was. She started to dust off her habits of dressing well and rediscovered the joy she found in feeling put together. Then she felt terrible when she thought of the genocide and how frivolous it all was. And she tried to find balance...
I sat there watching this unfold and felt the same tension I'm sure she was feeling because I understand both sides of the issue. I grew up caring very little about my appearance. My parents did an excellent job of making sure that their children's worth was not tied up in clothing, weight, or appearance of any kind and for that I'm grateful! But then I started hanging out with a group of people who knew how to dress. They NEVER made me feel like less of a person for my lack of skinny jeans and flats or cute scarves or any of it... But I started to wish that I knew how to put together an outfit like they could. More than a desire to look a certain way it was a desire for knowledge in the fashion department. So I learned. I experimented. I gave accessories a whirl and different colors and cuts and tried to start finding my own personal style instead of just picking pieces that covered me. And all my efforts at least doubled when my BF/soon-to-be-DH decided to get into the political realm and I realized that my life, and therefor my wardrobe, would be much more under the public's critical eye than my previous ranch hand laborer life had been. I started to find my niche in fashion and I liked it. Where I once hated clothes shopping I now enjoy it (in small quantities and only if successful). Yet, here I am learning about the evils of the fashion world from Jen. Yet, I know the truth of the other side of the coin as well.. that looking a certain way truly CAN give a platform from which to work to accomplish our goals.
In a perfect world, a Utopia where what we look like doesn't matter to anyone, fashion could be obsolete with no consequences. But I feel like in the real world it can't. I don't know... perhaps we need an army of brave pioneers who throw fashion out the window and staunchly face the music and do what needs done to change the norm we have now. Maybe it could actually make a difference. But I honestly don't see it. Personally, I see people throwing fashion out the window and eventually just making a new fashion. I'm looking at you, hipsters.
So... where does that leave me? Am I throwing out the premise of this chapter all together? Absolutely not. I see the premise of this chapter as being, like the premise of the book, simply fighting a consumeristic and excessive mentality. That's going to look different for you than it is for me. In fact, it will likely look different for me in 10 years than it does right now. Different people in different walks of life, different geological locations, and different callings will have different needs. There may come a day when looking put-together isn't necessary when I'm doing inner-city missions with under privileged kids and in that case I will probably need to re-evaluate my wardrobe. There may come a time when having 6 pairs of working jeans is rather ridiculous when I'm traveling with my aristocratic husband on his world-changing journeys and I have to find another pair of dress pants because I spilled coffee on my last one. But where I am right now? I know I will be culling through my clothes during month 3 because 331 items is too many for my needs and I KNOW that there are others out there who could use what I have. I will be simplifying while maintaining the 'put-togetherness' of my wardrobe. I won't be shopping just because I want to or because there's a sale. That's what I know for now... and there is still a half of a month for me to learn more. Honestly, I think I'd kind of pulled back a little psychologically and emotionally this month because of the overwhelming amount of angles from which I was trying to analyze this month. I'm going to try to be a little more thoughtful as I finish this month up.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Closet Comparison
Today was day 1 of month 2. Once I managed to make the decision about what to put on this morning it went quite well, although I did have to wonder about my choices as the day progressed.
7 articles of clothing for an entire month... Do you have any idea how hard it was to narrow it down to 7 articles of clothing? My life isn't conducive to that size of wardrobe. I can, in a single day's time, spend hours working in the dirt, change to run errands, and then clean up to attend a reception with my husband. Throw in a workout somewhere in there and I could see multiple wardrobe changes in just one 24 hour period. Of course, I could just wash everything at the end of every day, right? The problem with that is that there's simply no way to make 7 pieces of clothing create 4 outfits with shoe changes and differing functions. So... I had to make choices on what I would be most focused on throughout this month and provide clothing for those particular activities.
The Council has decided to follow Jen's example and count 2 pairs of shoes as 1 article (yes, I know... this month we're really doing '8'...). For me, my boots and simple black flats were the obvious choices, although I desperately wanted tennis shoes as well. That's #1. My other 6 are as follows.
- Skinny Jeans... the pair that already has a slight stain and I really won't care if I stain them further
- Button-Up... purple plaid, with easy to roll up long sleeves and able to be worn tucked in or out
- Castle Ranch T... my favorite, most comfortable top
- Athletic Shorts... lightweight, comfortable, and needed for working out, relaxing, and playing volleyball
- Dress... not yet found! Looking for a lightweight but long, easy to dress up or down dress
- Black Peacoat... I hope it's never so cold I have to wear it to work in, but if one must be ruined it's this one
As this month drew close I decided I should take an account of my current clothing situation. If the purpose of '7' is to learn - to learn about the poor, to learn about myself, and to learn about and develop the connection between us - I needed to know where I stood and how we compare. My findings were... embarrassing. I'd really rather not, but I promised myself and my Council that the numbers would be made public. Everything in my closet and dresser, with the exception of socks and underwear, was counted. Everything from pants to belts, scarves to outerwear, even those formal gowns I never wear; it all went into the final tally.
331. Thus is the number of my closet. If you figure in that I spent around $5 per item that means I have over $1500 tied up in my clothing. That might seem like I'm low balling it to make myself feel better, but I promise you, that really IS about what I tend to spend on my clothes. I'm the kind of person who will put something I like back on the rack at Goodwill because it's not the half-off color of the week. BUT... shoes are in that count as well, and I tend to spend around $10-$15 on shoes. Yes, that's about 80% off of regularly priced shoes... I absolutely love RedDot Sales at the Shoe Dept! BUT again, I know that my two pairs of cowboy boots were significantly more expensive than anything else in my closet, and gowns are a bit pricier as well. All things considered, I'm estimating that there sits within my closet somewhere between $1750 and $2000. I'll say it again... that's down right embarrassing.
Now, I know that some of you really want to reach through your computer screens and give me an encouraging pat on the back and tell me that it's not that bad. Maybe you think it's silly of me to feel embarrassed about my closet when you know there are closets worth many times more. But see, that's the problem with comparison... I could very easily choose to compare my closet to the first lady's closet and feel fully justified in going on a shopping spree. I could choose to compare it to a similar closet and not deal with feelings either of deprivation or embarrassment. Or I could do as I am doing now.
I choose to compare my closet with those who don't even have one at all, much less have one full of clothes. That choice isn't based on some strange desire to try and evoke feelings of guilt. In fact, I believe that 'there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus'. Feelings of guilt and shame are feelings to be fought with the truth of God's grace whenever they raise their ugly heads! No, my choice to set my closet next to an emptier one is for no other reason than to spur me into action and restrain my hand from grasping after more. I can't really think of any other reason to go count your clothes, sum up an estimate, and put it out there for the world to see... It's certainly not an exercise to be labeled 'just-for-fun'. :)
This month is going to be interesting, for sure! I have some ideas of what I will deal with throughout the next 4 weeks, but I'm looking forward to see what unexpected issues arise as well. The Council is meeting tomorrow night to discuss the details and display our choices while we enjoy (read, gorge ourselves on!) Mexican food. I'm bringing guacamole... just because I actually do still love avocados. Surprise surprise! It will be good to see them all again, laugh over last month's stories and this month's question marks, and argue over the nitty-gritty details of what exactly constitutes as an 'article of clothing'. ;) I am so grateful for these ladies... doing this alone would have been such a different story!
7 articles of clothing for an entire month... Do you have any idea how hard it was to narrow it down to 7 articles of clothing? My life isn't conducive to that size of wardrobe. I can, in a single day's time, spend hours working in the dirt, change to run errands, and then clean up to attend a reception with my husband. Throw in a workout somewhere in there and I could see multiple wardrobe changes in just one 24 hour period. Of course, I could just wash everything at the end of every day, right? The problem with that is that there's simply no way to make 7 pieces of clothing create 4 outfits with shoe changes and differing functions. So... I had to make choices on what I would be most focused on throughout this month and provide clothing for those particular activities.
The Council has decided to follow Jen's example and count 2 pairs of shoes as 1 article (yes, I know... this month we're really doing '8'...). For me, my boots and simple black flats were the obvious choices, although I desperately wanted tennis shoes as well. That's #1. My other 6 are as follows.
- Skinny Jeans... the pair that already has a slight stain and I really won't care if I stain them further
- Button-Up... purple plaid, with easy to roll up long sleeves and able to be worn tucked in or out
- Castle Ranch T... my favorite, most comfortable top
- Athletic Shorts... lightweight, comfortable, and needed for working out, relaxing, and playing volleyball
- Dress... not yet found! Looking for a lightweight but long, easy to dress up or down dress
- Black Peacoat... I hope it's never so cold I have to wear it to work in, but if one must be ruined it's this one
As this month drew close I decided I should take an account of my current clothing situation. If the purpose of '7' is to learn - to learn about the poor, to learn about myself, and to learn about and develop the connection between us - I needed to know where I stood and how we compare. My findings were... embarrassing. I'd really rather not, but I promised myself and my Council that the numbers would be made public. Everything in my closet and dresser, with the exception of socks and underwear, was counted. Everything from pants to belts, scarves to outerwear, even those formal gowns I never wear; it all went into the final tally.
331. Thus is the number of my closet. If you figure in that I spent around $5 per item that means I have over $1500 tied up in my clothing. That might seem like I'm low balling it to make myself feel better, but I promise you, that really IS about what I tend to spend on my clothes. I'm the kind of person who will put something I like back on the rack at Goodwill because it's not the half-off color of the week. BUT... shoes are in that count as well, and I tend to spend around $10-$15 on shoes. Yes, that's about 80% off of regularly priced shoes... I absolutely love RedDot Sales at the Shoe Dept! BUT again, I know that my two pairs of cowboy boots were significantly more expensive than anything else in my closet, and gowns are a bit pricier as well. All things considered, I'm estimating that there sits within my closet somewhere between $1750 and $2000. I'll say it again... that's down right embarrassing.
Now, I know that some of you really want to reach through your computer screens and give me an encouraging pat on the back and tell me that it's not that bad. Maybe you think it's silly of me to feel embarrassed about my closet when you know there are closets worth many times more. But see, that's the problem with comparison... I could very easily choose to compare my closet to the first lady's closet and feel fully justified in going on a shopping spree. I could choose to compare it to a similar closet and not deal with feelings either of deprivation or embarrassment. Or I could do as I am doing now.
I choose to compare my closet with those who don't even have one at all, much less have one full of clothes. That choice isn't based on some strange desire to try and evoke feelings of guilt. In fact, I believe that 'there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus'. Feelings of guilt and shame are feelings to be fought with the truth of God's grace whenever they raise their ugly heads! No, my choice to set my closet next to an emptier one is for no other reason than to spur me into action and restrain my hand from grasping after more. I can't really think of any other reason to go count your clothes, sum up an estimate, and put it out there for the world to see... It's certainly not an exercise to be labeled 'just-for-fun'. :)
This month is going to be interesting, for sure! I have some ideas of what I will deal with throughout the next 4 weeks, but I'm looking forward to see what unexpected issues arise as well. The Council is meeting tomorrow night to discuss the details and display our choices while we enjoy (read, gorge ourselves on!) Mexican food. I'm bringing guacamole... just because I actually do still love avocados. Surprise surprise! It will be good to see them all again, laugh over last month's stories and this month's question marks, and argue over the nitty-gritty details of what exactly constitutes as an 'article of clothing'. ;) I am so grateful for these ladies... doing this alone would have been such a different story!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Too Full of Cookies?
My emotions are mixed as I sit here trying to recap the entirety of the first month of '7'... It's hard to believe that it's over and time to move onto the next challenge. At the same time, it feels like we started the food month much more than a month ago. The excitement of being free to eat whatever I want is going up against the feeling of being overwhelmed with options. The thirst for variety is being beaten down by the new found enjoyment of simplicity. And, of course, the happiness of a tongue being tickled with explosions of flavors is fighting for superiority over a stomach that has grown accustomed to simplicity.
But more importantly than any of those things is the task of figuring out how to incorporate what I've learned into my normal, every day life. From the very beginning, I knew that the danger of this entire thing was that it become a filling-of-the-square fast; something I could add to my list of 'Christian accomplishments' but that didn't actually change my life. The last thing I want is to have something to look back on and puff myself up. A lot of good that would do me... "The Lord sets Himself against the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
Looking back on the February fast might seem like a great way to build myself up. I mean, self-control saw an all-time high, right? Not even licking my fingers when I cooked for DH... that really took grit! But really, the thing that stands out to me about the month is all the ways I saw how weak I actually am. Because in all the tough temptations I faced and overcame I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was so not me. I don't do that. And in the two days that have passed since the end of the challenge I've proven it! :P I don't deny myself normally, because I don't normally have a reason. But when God is behind me... He is my strength! It begs the questions, 'What could I achieve, through His strength, in my regular, day to day life? How can I tap into that strength on a regular basis and what would He have me channel that strength to overcome or accomplish?'
There is a shared sentiment among the 'council' that we will actually miss the food fast. Some of us even woke up on March 1st and felt a certain amount of sadness that it was over. God was so very present and we saw and learned things we never expected to see and learn. Some of those were written about in a previous post, "Surprises/Lessons from the 1st Week". Others are hard to explain in a blog post... hard to even explain to each other, face-to-face. But we are all so expectant... We can't wait for this month's revelations!
Sometimes, I find someone else's blog post and feel like they've been inside my head, stolen my thoughts, and written them down better than I could have. My mom shared just such a post with our group this morning and I would encourage all of my readers to head on over and read Ann Voskamp's take on what plagues the American Christian. She explains it so beautifully, simply, and vividly... our appetites for God are being suppressed by other things; the appetite-ruiners like those cookies our parents never let us have before the main meal.
It's so true... but it's so exciting to see that many of us are growing tired of being too full of cookies to truly enjoy the main thing in life. It may prove difficult to refuse them. In fact, I'm absolutely sure of it. After all, one of the biggest business in America is advertisement! But if there's one thing Month 1 showed me it's that having a God-given purpose can give even the weakest of wills the strength to refuse the tastiest of morsels, whether those be for the mouth of to clothe the body.
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